A PAIR OF KINGS.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2645, 11 September 1906, Page 7

A PAIR OF KINGS.

—+— By Little Johnny.

I s- • Mister (tipple, wich was one time a mishonry preechor in Afca, he sed, blister fiipple did, .foimm, T have ,M ' n a famous travel teller in my time. I jrps 1 l)on in more .crum (lasted countrys than a eentypeed h.ns leets, but the oddest one is the Kingdom of Tomagwee, wich lies on the rite hand side of the Gobootlo Mountains as you run away from the capitle. 'l he Toniagwees are one leggers. and wot they save in the cost of trowsvrs is paid to the King for his wages. I ast Mister Gipplo jist one leg. and he sed, A Tomagwee cant wo Ik, hut L> „f them can. They are rites and lefts, wich is to say. one feller has a rite and the other has a left, and wen 2 wich are mates stand side by side and clasp each uther with their inside arms they are the swiftest quodped wich skowers the plain, and they over takes the pluggy dimllittieans quite frequent, wich has a scru propeler. A feller wich cant get a uther for to double up with him has got to hop. First time I vizitod the capitle the King h<» sent for me.' mity polite. 1 found him a settin on a leg throan and wavin a gold britcli clowt. 1 staid ol nite and ne\ mornin the Kin?,'- sed thru a interpiter, Wen a ilustrious stranjer from a far cums to our country it is our custem for ol my subjecks to call and pa thair rcspecks. Wuld you mind passin the day in the cort yard of the pallico, jest wolkin a round and bowin to a adtnirin people ? I sed Ide be dlited and 1 dun it. Scch heeps of peoples ! They come in one dore and past out a uther, 2 an 2 and sum single and hopp.v. and they ol bowd lo to me and mo to them til my back was most broke and I culd hardly, stand up. Wen they quit cumin I took my leaf of the King, wich xprest his thankfle real warm. As I went out the prate gate I seen a sine above it in big loiters, but it was in Tomagwese and I cudent read it. Hut the interpreter cum along and J give him a bras ke ring for to rite it out for me in foltloss Illinoy. And it was this way, and Johnny you rite it down jest as T say it, cos we should bo trufle and just, even to the mecnest of God's crecchurs, wich i.s the King:

SEH THE YUNIFEED ! Most Wunderfle Sho on Erth. ! INKREDBLE FENOMINUM ! Under the l'atnidge OF HIS MAGGESTY THE KING. This uneek exampil of malfermashon was brot at grat xpense from Gargaroo in 2 ships and has ben showd to ol the crownd beds of Gakwak. SE IT ! SE IT ! The Only Yuman Rein in the Wurld Wich Has Got 2 Legs ! ! 1.0 Guks for to Get In. (N. B.—lt is not surly. How to it and it wil bow back.) Johnny, the wurst of it was that 10 guks is only but jest hat a cent in the mutiny of lllinoy ! I was a cheep gi. Rut if euy gory King wude trect me and Hilly that way Hil'ly he wude fel him to the plain and imbru his hands in his bind ! Cos the Bible it comands us for to draw the sold and go louth to the ends of the erth and sucker the wido and the orfan. And that's wy I. say the rite wil triump over the left, world with out end, a man ! I ast. Mister Gipple were did he go wen he had went laway from Tomagwee, and he sed, I was so mad f didetit take notice whare I went, but after menny days T cum to a big city when; the houses was ol made of gold, but no boddy was to home. So 1 jest took a few (lores and sum chimins and a steeple or 2 on my hack and went about my, bizness in madon meditashon, fancy fro. Prety soon I met a feller wich had a puter crown on his hed and a tin septer in his hand. I sed, Poor feller, wot asilum di vmi excapc from ? He hiked at me a wile, real sollem, and biine In he sed, line the King of that citty wich you are a remuviii to a uther site. 1 sed, You are a site youre own self, whare are yurc subjecks 7 He shuke his hed niornfle and sed, Thay have ol stumpeeded to a bras mine. If you wil thro away that bilding material and go buck with me I w i'l make you Prime Minnister and giv you •'! pceces of led cvry year and wen my subjecks cum bac jou shal hav as meiiy wiles as you can eat.

I turned my nose up. real conteinptble. and sed. Kvry. feller to his taste Sum likes one thing and sum dont. He jest take thooso soovenears of a fool civli/ashon to I'eory and pas the deck lining hours of my life as a private cittiz.cn an a diet of bacon and aius with one small while and a Democrat icle vote. Yes, Johnny, that is how I flang a way power and ounces and ritches in a orientle relm and am content with a seat in the board of direckters of a oil trust in my natif land. Billy he si's Kings is a notty nuseuce, but the Presdent he whaves his long stickes for to make tiranny tremble ! But it I was him I wude catch all the ritch men and tair them lim from lim, cos the Constushon says ol men are created fro and easy and endured by thair Creator thru ever last in life.