MAKING A CHOICE.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2294, 12 January 1900, Page 6

MAKING A CHOICE.

There is nothing which so damps the ardour of an hungry man as exasperating and unnecessary trifles. Therfore, when Smith picked up the bill of fare and found it printed in choice restaurant French he uttered strong words. He was serenity itself, however, when the waiter approached. " Look here, waiter," said he, " there is nothing on this bill that I care for." " We can serve you anything you like for dinner, sir,*'with an air of proud confidence. " Have you sine qua non ?"

The waiter stared and answered, "No—o—o, sir.*'

" Well, let. me have some nice ignis fatuus —of course you have this ?" " No, sir, we don't serve them in Lent.''

•' Have you any jeux tf esprit ?" " No, sir; not a single one." " This is too bad. You may bring some teuipus fugit." " Sorry, sir: it's just off." " Well, then, perhaps you have e pluru.us UIIUIII ?"

The waiter brightened up. "It seems to me I have heard them speak about that, sk," and he rushed to the kitchen, but returned empty-handed and said regretfully, "We haven't got it." " Have you pro bono publico V " No, sir," gasped the waiter, almost crazy. But the guest was placidity it«elf, and asked quietly—- " Have you vice versa '(" The waiter could only shake his head. '• No. Well, perhaps you might have roast beef and fried potatoes ?'" " Yes, sir; we really have that," exclaimed the waiter, as he fairly flew into the kitchen.