A LITTLE LIST.

Lyttelton Times, Volume LXVII, Issue 8151, 23 April 1887, Page 5

A LITTLE LIST.

(By Our Overwhelmed Reporter.) As we some day may discover that our space is running short, I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list. Of oppressive men and meetings that we commonly report. But which never would he missed-which never wonld he missed : First, Unemployed Starvaiioaists who gather in the square, And forcibly denounce us, which I hardly think is fair; Then Salvation Army suppliants, who, when they cease to curse, Pray hard ’’ for all reporters,” which, perhaps, is rather worse; Anil the Preacher with the HiVbon, the Blue Revivalist — They’d none of ’em ho missed —they’d none of ’em ho missed. Then all rival farm machinery and bogus public trials. With an advertising twist—l’ve got ’em on the list; And Offenders from Police Courts who write furious denials. They never will be missed—they never will be missed; The Agent from the theatre who comes to pull our legs. And paragraphs in manner quite insinuating begs ; Miraculous Faith Healers, with a cure that’s all my eye; Industrial Societies industriously dry ; And suburban Borough Councils met on nights of mud and mist - They’d none of ’em ha missed-I'm sure they’d not be missed. Then the Charitable Concert with piano out of tune. The local vooalist—l’ve got him on thelist; The Scientific Lecturer discoursing on the moon, Ho never will be missed —I’m sure he'll not bs missed; The Freetiado Statistician with uncompromising jaw ; The Political Economist, that all-surpassing boro; The conscientious Candidate “explaining to the end Colonial finances that ho doesn’t oomp-ohond; The disappointed snitor from the Magisterial Court, Wh-se character’s been ruined by an incorrect report. Who would fain exact retraction with a leg o mutton fist— They'd none of ’em be missed—they’d none of 'em le missed.