HOME GOSSIP.

Lyttelton Times, Volume XLVII, Issue 4983, 7 February 1877, Page 3

HOME GOSSIP.

(Atlas in tho World.) The standard for the Royal Artillery has been reduced, and a limited number of 11 short gunners ” will now bo taken into the service at five feet five and a half inches. It is rather strange that we should bo diminishing the gunners just as we are enlarging the guns. Perhaps the authorities are trying to carry out some theory of uniformity in the total weight of rolling stock. "The King of Burmah understands that Russia is about to invade England ; in consequence, ho is putting his new mud forts in order. He has purchased three new Krnpp field-guns, and with these feels himself impregnable. He has already tried some of those guns on his unsuspecting subjects, and finds that the ordnance answers all expectations. His Majesty has personally observed the exhilarating effects of shell and grape end canister on o village three-quarters of a mile distoat from firing-point. The villagers skipped nimbly about, to the great delight of their sovereign lord, who. soon set their village aflame. Rockets were also tried with surprising effect, especially as one suddenly burst and killed a _ leading palace-functionary, who was engaged in deftly training the missile. His Majesty, the Divine Owner of the White Elephant, was so incensed at this, that he ordered a few shots to be fired into the shipping in Irawaddy river, which flows past his capital of Mandalay. Two native craft were observed to sink before the whole of (he vessels could out and slip.

Hi* Burmese Majesty is confident that with his Ernpp guns he may safely defy any such puny foreign Power as Britain, On the strength of this opinion, his Majesty has united his sacred person to three more wives, and there is a “sound of revelry" in Mandalay. Don Carlos is at present in Austria. His arrival in Vienna caused some perturbation in political circles; indeed, it was feared that he was about to put his august finger into the Eastern pie, until it transpired that the innocent object of his journey was to visit his uncle, Count de Ohambord, at Frohsdorff, and hi* mother, Princess Beatrix, at Qriitz. Vienna again breathes freely. The bishopric of Truro has.it is understood, been unofficially offered to and accepted by Dr Vaughan. His agents have been in the neighbourhood for some little time in search t>f a suitable house, but hitherto without much success. As a result, the new Bishop will probably have to build ; but it is doubtful if the Ecclesiastical Commissioners will be quite so liberal in this case as they have been in some previous instances. So Lord Maidstone has hardened his heart after having “ taken the rue ” once, and has decisively gone to “ the demnition bow-wows ” in the humble capacity of a gunner in the Royal Artillery. It would be straining a point to say of his lordship that here is “ another good man gone wrong.” The noble Viscount will by this time have discovered, no doubt to his great surprise and disgust, that though he ie Lord Maidstone, he is not permitted to take his dog into the barrack-room. The “ bombardier of the room ” does not recognise titular rank in the person of a private—especially now that there are no more bounties to be “lushed.”

Captain Vigans, the Englishman who last year opened a new passage through the Sea of Kara from St. Petersburg to the northern shores of Siberia, was intrusted, at the commencement of the present year, with a new expedition, organised by means of a subscription of Russian and Siberian merchants. It is now feared that the expedition has perished, as no news whatever has been received of it. Funds are being collected in Russia to send another party in search of Captain Vigans and his companions, who possibly have fallen victims to their courageous attempt to discover a route to Northern Siberia through the frozen seas.

■ Coelum, non animum. The ex-Queen Isabella of Spain, accompanied by the Duke of Montpensier and the Coant of Paris, patronised the bull-ring of Seville on last Sunday week. The season is late for the sport—you require a fervid sun for spirited tauromachy—but the condescension of her ex-Majesty (who was always a high favourite with the matadors) may help to revive the waning glories of the national pastime, and in any case will tend to make her personally popular. Lahartijo, Frasesaello, and all the great spadas, with their attendant quadrilles, are in high glee. The American “ type-writer ” is gradually becoming popular. With several authors it has superseded the use of the pen altogether. Some people habitually use it for writing lettersj and this gives rise to a curious question, which I should like to have answered. If a man writes a letter or agreement with a type-writer, and signs his name to the letter or agreement with the same instrument, is the document so produced as legal and binding as one signed with a pen P Undoubtedly there is a most useful field for the type-writer among the blind. If the stops had the letters in relief upon them, with a little'practice a blind person might be able to write letters with as great ease as he could play the pianoforte.

Whatever we may think of the intelligence of our police staff at head quarters, we have hitherto been certain of its loyalty. I am sorry to hear that the fatal system of “ squaring ” which is brought to bear upon all ranks, from statesmen to turnkeys, has begun to bud in Scotland Yard. The chiefs have discovered that one or more of the officers—as I understand not of high rank—have been in correspondence with, and have actually “ given the office ” to, certain swindlers against whom the police were operating, and whom they would have caught but for the information afforded by the traitor. It behoves the Home Office to act with the promptest decision in this matter.

I gather from the Australian papers that Mr Onslow’s agents, who are on the look-out for the real Arthur Orton in that country, have not merely been “ too clever by half,” but have actually been too successful by twothirds. In brief, they have discovery three Arthur Ortons. One is stated to be “ unfortunately in the lunatic asylum at Paramatta;” but he has “lucid intervals,” and seems to have been at least sane enough to understand that a reward, was offered for bis appearance. The other two are said to have their wits about them. But the prospect of seeing these “three jolly butoher-boys all of a row ” is really too much. What on earth can we want with four Arthur Ortons P

As more than one preposterous paragragb, professing to describe the position, &c., of Colonel Valentine Baker at Constantinople, has gone the round of the press, it is advisable to give some authentic information on the matter. Colonel Baker has not, up to the present time, accepted service in the Turkish army ; and consequently has not been able to forward the views of the numerous applicants (150) to serve under him. His whole time has been taken up in elaborating a plan for the defence of Constantinople, which he laid before our own military authorities in July, and which is now receiving their most serious attention. This plan he has also urged upon the Turkish Government, and it is very favourably regarded by the Sultan; but want of money at present prevents any decided action. Should Russia take up a position hostile to the views of the English Government, and attack the integrity of the Ottoman Empire, Colonel Valentine Baker will probably accept the position of a lieutenant-general on the staff of the Turkish army in the field. The columns of the official organ of the Celestial Empire attest the unequivocal growth of John Chinaman in civilisation. He can not only drink and tell lies as well as smoke opium, but appears to bo as shrewdly alive to the value of a “ crib" as the facetious Mr William Bouncer. Here is an edifying eztraot from the Pekin Gazette of Sept. 11: —" A Decree—A Censor reports to Us that he has heard that, attte examination for the selection of provincial examiners this year, portions of the P'ei wen yiin fa (Imperial Thesaurus of Literature) were taken in by the candidates to assist them in their papers. Candidates 'for the post of provincial examiners should be actuated by feeinga of self-respect, and it is incredible that they should conceal books about them with the object of attaining undeserved success. On future occasions We command that a Prince be appointed to superintend the examinations, whose supervision is not to be considered a mere matter of form.” I do not despair of living to hear of spellingbees at Hangchow and School Board squabbles at Nagasaki. My humble friend, Joe Sprouts, the costermonger, impugns the conduct of Providence in hav;ng created him into a sphere of corduroy instead of one of broadcloth. In his own expressive language, “ It’s a blarmed shame he warn’t born a gent!” Joe was sent to prison the other day without the option of a fine for having, under the influence of beer, administered a black eye to a rival coster in Drury Lane. He oontrasts this treatment with the leniency shown by Mr Vaughan, the Bow stret magistrate, to a rowdy stockbroker named Purdy, one of a gang of “ gents ” who figured the other morning in the dock, on a charge of rioting at the Promenade Concert in Oovent Garden Theatre. In giving judgment Mr Vaughan remarked of this Purdy that “his language and behaviour were very bad indeed, certainly not what he would have expected from a man supposed to have mixed in decent society. To impose a fine in his caaa would simply be ridiculous. It would immediately be paid and would bo no punishment at all. He must be imprisoned for ten days with hard labour.” But in the afternoon Mr Vaughan did what ho had in the morning said “would simply be ridiculous.” He commuted his wise sentence of imprisonment into a fine of £5, which of course was immediately paid, and was, to quote Mr Vaughan further, “ no punishment st all.” Whatever is, is right of course; but: 1 own to some sympathy with the ingenuous plaint of Mr Sprouts.