Poetry.

Lyttelton Times, Volume XIII, Issue 774, 7 April 1860, Page 2

Poetry.

\ ;THE TOWN AND THE TORRENT. \ ;;■ ' A KEOKLEBB RHTME. N f Rusticus expecta't dum defluat amnis, at ille s Labitur, et labetur in omne volubilis sevum. • —Horace. There's a town that bears a grand old name Though it be but a new-made spot; \ The beauty that some other towns may claim Every one knows it has not. With its dead bare level and square cut streets; Its houses so scattered and small; And the wind that will blow, and the sand that won't go, 'Tis not pleasant to live in at all. But 'twas, once a good business, I Understand, . - Buying and selling the Christchurch land. , Air :—" Rob Roy." Christchurch lies a little low; ; Hey, hey, the level o't! Above the tide a foot or so; Hey, hey, the level o't! ;■ ; And when about the town you go, Sundry indications show That here a river used to flow. . Hey, and that's the o't! .• Only think! Here's a go! . : Fancy that years ago— I don't like to make it too short or too long; A very safe venture is Several centuries; The learned must pardon me if I go wrong; .My only apology Is that geology Was not a science they taught me when young. —But, if asked what Christchurch is on, Sir Roderick Murchison Would, fearless of heresies, , Say, from,those terraces, Sandhills and shingle lines, running along, That, in reality, .' Down this locality Some torrent had come it uncommonly strong. Air :-" Cork Leg." At Avonhead lived one Mister B——y, Who every morning used to say " I should not be much surprised to-day •' If Christchurch city were swept away "By the.rushing, crushing,flushing, gushing, Waimakariri River." He told his tale and he showed.his plan; How the levels lay, and the river ran; ' The neighbours thought him a learned man, .. But wished him further than Ispahan, With his wearing, tearing, flaring, scaring Waimakariri River. Air:—" Kitty of Coleraine." As young Mr. R—l—y one morning Vas going With a barrel on wheels to the river for drink, Instead of a mile off, he found it was 'flowing Five yards from the house and a: foot from the brink. • ! : The river was tumbling; the banks they were crumbling; . , Poor R—l—y had scarcely got time to jump round; When very soon after, from basement to rafter, The whole of his house disappeared from the ground. Air :-—" Froggy would a-wooinggo" So off he jumped, and took to his heels; ■ Heigh-ho! says Rowley; So off he jumped, and took to his heels; And off went the bullock and barrel on wheels Eroin the rolling, bowling Waimakariri; Heigh-ho! says young Mister Rowley. And when he came to Christchurch town; Heigh-ho!, says Rowley; And when he came to Christchurch town, " Look out," says he, " for the coming down .Of the rolling, bowling, Waimakariri!" Heigh-hq! says young Mr. Rowley. The people all got in a terrible fright; • At the heigh-ho! of Rowley; The people all got in a terrible fright; And went by dozens to take a sight At the rolling, bowling Waimakariri; 1— Oh, do! Says young Mister Rowley. Prompt were the steps the Government took. * The Superintendent closed his book; And started rapidly up from where he Just then sat; ~ Called for his hat; And stepped at once to the Secretary. That eminent officer, just before, Being always ready alike for pleasure or Business, had shut and locked his door, And stepped with the news to his friend the " Treasurer.:; ".;••. si. The man of money had stepped and gone,— So said his feminine attendant— With a couple of swimming belts tied on, - : Across to his Honor the Superintendent. First up, then down, .•• Then across the town, The three went, one another following; Like wolves in a cage Till.they got in a rage Which they'd very great trouble indeed in swallowing. They certainly would have walked till night; They might have been going till morning light; Thejr might have been playing, the whole of the week, A triangular game of hide and seek; They might have been walking, in imitation Of the Corkleg's wonderful peregrination, —I can't tell how— Even,till now; A striking example of ' Quick and dead'; The constant heavy monotonous.tread Leaving intact both body and head, - 'But wearing out the soul; ; ':■'■ I And making each corporeal whole, • A 'corporation sole.' • ■„,■: Not fleshless spirits, of which there are hosts, But the very vice versa ofghosts: Spiritless bodies, that should be the grave in; Of whom I have known no example, save in The first navigation concern of Avon. This trio walked— before they died— With swinging arms and lengthened stride, And nose aloft in air; With head erect, and open-eyed, And backward streaming hair. They strode the street of still Madras, Where grows at will the untrodden grass, ° To Sumner Road the wide; Thence on by Cashel's peopled street, Some of whose houses almost meet In ranks down either side : ; To where, cool gliding through the heat, Slides Avon's silvery tide. .; .' . And, as adown the stream he pressed, Each turned a glance towards the west, . ' Dreaming of quick disaster ; - . • And saw, or thought he .saw, or, guessed ; He saw the billows' foaming crest; i Then stepped a little faster. By Gloucester's half-worn thorough-fare, Whose panes with every glare Soft goods, and hard,,and hollow-ware With Stringer's buns and toffees; And Cookham's famous.boots are there; '■■■■■.'■■■ : So is the Union Office. ,^ J. :. By street and by iterrace each hurried apace, One after the other; but all in vain; Till they reached the right reverend Martyr's place, And then they began the round again. For it happened per.yerselyy asVthings will chance, With the luckto which most poor mortals "■ '• ';' born are* ;'; '"''':' ■' ,: ■'■ ''• ;. ; • >•-<" As each round a turning.gave a first glance • ■; ; His man was just doubling a distant corner. Now they might have walked, as I said before, •A day* or a week, or a month,,or more; ;:' '-■ But happily, as they were going at score, : ......-: , THE CLOCK STRUCK rOUB;It ';;. '■■:■;?: ;' /r W.itches,/w.e know, and fairies too, ; -.. ; Aiideveryiuperiiaturalcrew, ' '■. i: v ; v :•

In the height of their dance, when the cock does crow, - Instantly stop j The nocturnal hop, Vanish in air, and away they go! I So public officials of every degree, ; i Though slaves at fifty-nine minutes past three, I ■The instant they hear the stroke of four, .The pen must stop, j And the paper mu9t drop, The books are shut and they work no more. Quick and far, with electric force, , ■'Twas felt: tlie Government stopped, of course. No need of clock nor of bell for them; Instinct told them 'twas 4 p.m. Each, as if shot, Stopped on the spot; Turned onhis heel, gave his forehead a wipe; Felt in his pocket and pulled out a pipe; Got ready to smoke, and prepared to depart, . Slowly, in search of some ale, to the Hart. "■■■■■>■■ Now looking the map in, •;>; You'll find it would happen— Each coming up from a different beat—, ; Tlmt just at the junction they would meet Of Cathedral Square with Hereford Street. First, and at.once, by right of his, station, ;■; ; His Honor demanded an explanation.— !; " I say—l say— .:'•'■'-.■ Nice fellows you two! ; ; ' Running away, Just when you knew there was something to do! But go! I say—go! I want dinner you know,— ' I'm hungry; you made me run after you so. But stay! I say—stay! ' One of you call on the clerk on your way; —You see that the river is Getting mysterious; also quite serious; It's a chance if tormbrrow we all are alive— And let him deliver his • : { : Summonses all my advisers to call, To hold an Executive Council at five. : r And here! I say—here! . Remind him to summon the Engineer. They met.—'Twas up a stair.—For they thought it was coming. They looked.—lt was not there; but they heard like its humming. They talked in whispered tone, their keen anguish to smother. But one, and one alone, said—'Twas all his grandmother! • What's to be done?— :; „V ■ Was the general question, Felt but unspoken. Till suddenly one ' " ■ Made a suggestion; And silence was broken. He began by observing that all propriety Showed that in every novel society Nought should be done at all at variance With the dictates of old experience. : Then-mention made he *" Of a sage old lady— Herjiame would be recognized far and wide— Who, when ocean invading, Set other folks wading, ■ Made use of a pitchfork to stop the tide. And then he proposed, as the easiest plan ; (In talking of forks, he of course the most simple meant) For stopping the river, that every man, Should furnish himself with a similar implement. Another sage Councillor rose up to say With his colleague's opinion he partly accorded; But, seeing the progress of science each day, Some room for improvement was surely afforded. He thought that, laying aside the prong, - Whose only use was on shallow beaches, The pole by itself, six times as long, Would be better in currents and rapid reaches. The members approved the latter suggestion; They put and carried, nem con., the question; And, dropping irrelevant conversation, Agreed to the following PROCLAMATION. . Whereas it seems likely the river may break Through its banks; and we know not the course it may take: ■ • And whereas ,'tis expedient to run up» some better a Rampart: Now therefore, I, William, etcetera, Proclaim that all persons shallinstitute searches ; For pitchforks, and all they can find they must purchase; Then knock all the prongs off; and taking the staves away March to the river and help keep the waves away. Done at our palace, September sixteen, The year does not matter; but God save the Queen! Odd, very odd it was thought by all! Uncommonly odd the Government thought it! So fancies a cricketer dropping a ball Precisely the moment he thinks he has caught it. Most provoking! Beyond all joking! Very perplexing I Exceedingly vexing! In spite of their skill a,nd in spite of their science; In spite of the fame Of the eminent dame, In whose old appliance they placed such reliance; The rampart of sticks; ; When they managed to fix— And far from too easy a matter they found it— The stream, rising frightfully, Broke as if spitefully, Over it, under it, through it, and round it. More frightened than ever, the folks on the plains Turned, after they heard it, uncommonly brown, In all the, Nor', Westers and Easterly Rains, For fear that the river might chance to come down! While some men, who thought themselves extra sagacious, . : —And offered to bet on it many a crown To make their opinion the more efficacious— Affirmed that the river would surely come down. But.to silence for ever all empty conjecture; To settle all doubts on the fate of the town; The Highest Authority proved in a lecture, By figures and facts, that it must come down. From that time to this, says the story, the river Showed such disregard for all reason that by it you'd Judge it had studied the journals, and ever Remained in itslbed with remarkable quietude^