Humour

Lake County Press, Issue 2698, 6 September 1917, Page 2

Humour

Mr. Levinsky: “Let him baf all he vants, Leah. If you stunt his growth ho can ride on the railways all his life at half price.” “The baby is wonderfully like its I mother, Mr. Meeker.” “Yes, they j both have such a commanding air about : them that 1 don’t dare refuse them J anything.” I “What’s the use of all this athletic business in college life?” “Well, it makes the graduates who can pass the mental examination eligible for the police force.” “That new maid of ours is a wonder. When she came to us two months ago she couldn't understand a word wo said to her.” “And now?” “And now she won’t.” “When your mother-in-law fell into the water why didn’t you help to got her out?” “My dear madam, you must know that nothing I ever have done has pleased her.” Teacher (eliciting information from a class): “Now, children, tell mo what minerals are found in New South Wales?” “Father, what do they mean by rentlemen farmers?” “Gentlemen farmers, my son, are aimers who seldom raise anything ex'ept their hats.” Young Levinsky: “More vinegar, imther.” Mrs. Levinsky: “You mustn’t take <> much vinegar. Mosey. Dot vas bad or your constitution.” “What a strong, shrill voice Miss lellow has.” “Yes. I would advise her to devote or self to Christmas carols.” “Why?” ■ , “Because they are only sung once a aar.”