Miscellany.

Lake County Press, Issue 2158, 28 February 1907, Page 2

Miscellany.

Speculation. A gentleman rode into Glasgow on buainoss tho other day, and when he came to his destination alighted. Looking around for someone to hold his horse, ho saw a ragged urchin standing at a corner with his hands in his pockets, idly whistling a doleful air. Hailing the hoy, and cautioning him to hold the rein gontly, tho gentleman wont in and transacted his business. When he c.imo out; however, ho saw that it was a different boy who now held his horse, ‘ llilloa !’ said lie, ‘ you’re nos the boy I loft to hold my horse. Where is he ?’ ‘ He’s away lang syne,' replied the urchin, coolly ; ‘ I jest spekilatod a bit, an’ gicu him a hapaoy fer his chance.’

HUMOURING THE GENERAL. Lord Mark Kerr looks like anything rather than a Eriiish general. When ho was commanding tho Poona division in Mora sorno years ago, hia lordship, among other hobbies, enthusiastically encouraged soldiers’ gardening. One day, taking an early stroll in mufti, ho saw thr_e or four privates hard at work on their plots. Much pleased, ho remarked : * Well; my men, nice thing gardening is, isn’t it ? I see you take an interest id it?’

*Bo I?’ surlilly rejoined Tommy Atkins. ‘ That’s all you know ! AVe have got an old general hero who’s mad on it, and wo are hero on fatigue duty in case ho comes along,’

FLATTERING TO THE FARMER. la some parte of Germany it is tlio custom to send congratulatory telegrams to friends at a distance who are being married. That is, the message is timed to arrive just after the ceremony, and during the feast which usually foliowe. ‘Now a certain man, a large farmer, was about to be married, and shortly before tho time ho heard that one of his catclo had strayed. It being a valuable animal, hj« told his bailiff to let him know at once when it wao found. The bailiff, hoiug an ecouoniical man, combined t-ho two affairs, and the happy bridegroom received the following message just as they all sat down to dinner : ‘ Gougralululiona I Tho beaet io caught!’

CONSOLING. Fond Parsnt (wishing to console his widowed daughter) : ‘ No wonder yon grievo for him, my child; you will nover find his Afflicted One : ‘ I doubt if I—l caa ; but i'll do ray best.’ Sangster: ‘ Hava you heard my latest popular song, ‘ She Died with a broken heart ’ ?’ Songster : ‘No; how does it go ?’ Sangotsr; ‘ Lika hot a&9h',y