JOSH BILLINGS’ ALMANAC.

Lake County Press, Issue 31, 5 January 1872, Page 3

JOSH BILLINGS’ ALMANAC.

Sum men are born great, sum men git grate after they are born, and sum men have greatness hove upon them. It seems tew me that I am all 3 of those into one. At a mass meeting lately held in Pordunk County, (ray ualiff village) the inhabitants past the following preamble and resolutes. Whereaz, it is hily good that a Farmer’s Allminac should be born for the year 1872, Resoluted, That Josh Billings be sol apart, (and hereby is expressly sot apart) to beget the job. Resoluted, That this Allminac shall be begotten on the fust ov nex Oktober, wet or dry. Resoluted, That this Allminac shall kontaiu milk for babes, meat for elders, and crumbs for all. Resoluted, That Knowcr hilt the .ark, and Joner waz the fust man who went a whaleing, but Josh Billings has the right ingredients for a Farmer’s Allminac. Resoluted, That Faith wins the battles of life. Hope beautifys them and Charity makes them immortal. Resoluted, That the more dorgs than a man wants are a nuisance, and less than he haz got iz positively no loss. Resoluted, That we fully believe that man cum from the monkey, but 'where the monkey cum from we don’t seem to kno. Resoluted, That the thanks ov this meeting be sent to Darwin, (or tew the monkey) we don’t kare whitch. Resoluted, That all the nuzepapers in our beloved land (without distinction ov color) be allowed to print these resolutes. Resoluted, That this meeting now unaniraouslv busts quietly, sinun di. JOSH BILLINGS, Sekretary, Ditto, Allmanacker, P. S. The meeting did bust quiet.— J. B.