Laugh it off. . .

Lake County Mail, Issue 10, 30 July 1947, Page 11

Laugh it off. . .

“ Willie, I’ll give you one more chance. Whose emblem is the leek?” “The plumber’s, sir.” * * * “ McTavish is an excellent judge of whisky, isn’t he?” “Aye, a gran judge —an’ a merciless executioner.” * • • Prison Visitor: So you’re here for seven years. What’s the charge? Convict: Luimnc, guv-nor, there ain’t no charge. Everythink’s free ’ere. # * * Brown: Where did Jones get that car? Black: He won the second prize in a competition. The first was a Scout knife. * * * Angry Customer: The last coat I had from you split up the back. Tailor: That shows how well the buttons were sewn on. : X : The class was asked to write an answer to an invitation. One girl wrote: “ Dear Madam, —I am very sorry I cannot attend your* fete, owing to illness, which will be held in the town hall next Friday.” * * * Lady: But you’re not the man I asked to trijn the hedge. That man had a beard. Tram]): Yes, I am. But while I ’ad the shears in me ’amis I thought I’d give my chin the onee-over. * # * Judge: Do you mean to say that you actually looked on while this man killed his mother-in-law? Why did you not offer your help? Witness: I intended to, but then I saw that he was managing very well by himself.

A man asked a friend to dinner. Amongst the vegetables served were boiled onions. The friend, wishing to say something pleasing, exclaimed, “ If there’s one. thing I like more than another, it’s oiled bunions.”

The companion to an elderly was reading aloud the newspaper report of a fire, in which it was stated, that a servant had to escape down a water-pipe at the back of the house. “How thin the poor dear must have been! ” exclaimed the old lady.