LOCAL AND GENERAL.

King Country Chronicle, Volume XXI, Issue 2341, 26 October 1926, Page 4

LOCAL AND GENERAL.

“Unless a football match is advertised lor that date, there will be difficulty in getting the farmers to attend the Last Judgment,’’ wrote a dairy company secretary to the Dairy Fanners’ Union relative to the calling of a meeting in that district.

Newspaper offices (says a A\ augianiri paper) seem to be recognised by the general public as a sort of general information bureau. At all events, it appeared to be so when an inquirer asked, per medium of telephone, on what foods were hedgehogs fed. Possibly as much surprise was given him as he had occasioned, when the question was suitably answered.

Two amusing literals have recently boon made by provincial papers, one by the Fei filing evening paper and t-lie other by the Wanganui morning paper. The former stated that “Recent heat has so affected vines, in Spain that this year’s crop of graves (grapes) is the lowest on record.” The Wanganui paper informed its readers that “Germans would be allowed to visit the soldiers’ graves in Alsace-Lorraine on payment of 3,000,000 gold francs.” Needless to say, this should have been 3 francs.

During the bearing of an agony case beard ax the Wanganui Magistrate’* CoVirt last week, a witness stated that lie would not let his daughter attend dances at all. “The old dances were all right, but the new ones are just filth,” he said. The Mr J. S. Barton, stated that views on dancing did not always agree. Probably modern dancing did help to stimulate feelings which lay dormant usually. That was just a matter of opinion, though. He could (piito under stand any lather being anxious about his daughter attending dances which were patronised by carefree, irresponsible and sliiftless youths.

Mr C. E. MacMillam, M.P., was telling Mr A. M. Samuel, AI.P., Te Avoha, of the disappointment caused amongst the natives because Mr Samuel lad failed to accept an invitation to an important function at Taurangta. A native asked wliy the popular member of Parliament had not availed himself of the hospitality offered. “We get to kai, te waipiro, te big cigar. Why he no come?” On satisfactory explanation being offered, the Maori said:

“He te good fellow, Samuel. Poland no good. He been in Parliament 20 years and do nothing. Samuel there only one year and open all te pahs.”

“Will anyone saj r a pound?” said the auctioneer at the Morrinsville horse fair last week, in respect to a hack, the looks of which certainly denoted a hard winter. “Ten bob an eye,” was offered immediately by one of the heads/ “A pound I’m offered,” said the king of the rostrum. “I said ten hob an eye,” said the clever one, “and she’s only got one eye.” “She’s glut more eyes than you have, apparently,” said the auctioneer, “and your bid’s a pound.” The mare had two eyes, all right, which meant discomfiture to the Trould-be clever one.

As a result of experience and study

the executive committee of the New Zealand Employers’ Federation states, in the annual report of that organisation, that it has reached the opinion that one of the greatest bars to efficiency in this Dominion is the legal system of wage fixation, which takes no account of production and aims at maintaining arbitrarily a fixed standard of living ■ amidst unstable conditions. “An Arbitration Court,” continues the report, ‘is a thing to fall back upon in the event of two parties in industry being unable to agree, so

long as it is not used as a last resort to avert industrial trouble. In New Zealand we, however, have fallen into the easy habit of leaving the whole job to the Court, and funking the handling of our own problems. The result is that wages have come to depend almost entirely upon the Government Statistician’s estimate of wliat it costs to keep a family of four at the same standard of living as in pre-war days. In other words, we are estab-

lishing a low national standard of output. Our system of fixing wages regardless of production, coupled, with the trade lunion teaching that slow work means a greater number of employed, is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, contributing cause.”

The Railway Department advertises in this issue particulars of excursion fares and train arrangements in connection with Waikato A. and P. Show at Claudelands, 3rd and 4th November.

The Japanese boy brought out Ratana during his tour to the East made rapid progress with his studies at Ratana, both in the English and Maori languages. The lad is now employed in a mercantile establishment at Wellington.

On Thursday next a Parents’ Day will be held at the Te Kuiti District High School, to which parents and guardians are cordially invited. The school will be open to parents between the hours of 1.30 and 2.15 p.m., after which there will be drill displays and games by both girls and boys. Afternoon tea and stalls will also be a feature of the daly. The proceeds will be in aid of the sports and technical funds.

What is claimed to he a record price for potatoes in Dunedin Avas obtained at auction on Tuesday morning, when a box of new Jersey Benns was sold at 3s 3jd per lb. The potatoes came from SaAvyer’s Bay and Avere hothouse grown. This price Avorks out at the fancy figure of £770 a ton. At the same time, hothouse tomatoes from Christchurch realised 3s scl a lb.

More schoolboy hoAvlers culled from the examination papers from the New Plymouth school:—“A fissure is a man Avho sells fish. Scent is the sound made by hounds. Joan of Arc was the Avife of Noah. The man was groaning like a sole in torment. E'.G. means “egg sample.” An oculist is a fish Avitli long legs. WheueA’cr David played to Saul the latter kept a javelin handy. Paul and Silas began to sing, an.l there AA'as a great earthquake.

One of the adjudicators at the recently concluded Wanganui Competitions was particularly fond of a midday rest. One day last Aveelt loud snores Avere heard coming from a couch in the lounge of a Wanganui hotel, and three young ladies, avlio knew the gentleman concerned, were highly amused. When he had been fully refreshed by liis forty winks a note Avas sent to him as folloAvs: “Judge’s remarks: Production good; rather nasal quality; more control on top notes required.”

Having other than climatic features to contend against, a lad attending St. Patrick’s School, Masterton, was determined to acquaint the examiner of the handicap under which he grew his plot of mangolds in a juvenile competition (says the Wairarapa Daily Times), and on his record sheet instead of depicting in sketch the progress of plant life under cultivation, he sketched the seedling just above the ground being attacked by birds, in a later stage the young bulb being nibbled by a rabbit, and then the full-grown root being munched by a cow.

Discussing the coming) meat season Avitli a Timaru" Herald reporter, Mr Adam Hamilton, M.P., a member of the Meat Board, said that the prospects AA-ere much brighter uoav than they Avere a couple of months ago. During that time meat at Home had advanced a penny per pound, and he anticipated that new season’s lan# Avould open up at round 8d per lb in the North Island and in the southern part of the Sotutli Island, Avliile in Canterbury it Avould probably be a shade better—say, Bjd per lb. He mentioned that Mr R. S. Forsyth, London manager of the Meat Board, Avho is noA\ r in NeAV Zealand, is optimistic concerning prospects for the coming season, and that it Avas his intention to visit as many centres as possible and give addresses to farmers.

Swimming the Channel is an expensive business ; the one who attempts it must have both money and leisure (says a London paper). Aliss Ecleiie had neither, hut they were found f.~r her last year when, as an amateur, she was financed by the AVomen’s Swimming Association of Ajmerica, and failed. The association declined this year to advance the necessary money, hut an American gentleman came to the rescue with a loan of £IOOO on condition that Aliss Ederle would repay him out of the profits of the theatrical and other engagements which were bound to follow upon a successful swim. There is, of course, notliingi n this that is new to this generation. This is an age of commercialism—in athletics as in other things—in which the words “sport” and “amateur” have become two of the worst-abused in the English language, and amateurism lias been made the footstool of professionalism in its least acceptable form.

An amusing debate between Mr. G. Wauchope (Gisborne) and Mr. G. a! Maddison (Hastings) arose at a meeting of the Hawke’s Bay Education Board in Napier when the subject of school rebuilding was under consideration. The two members vied with each other in urging the respective necessity of the re-erection of Gisborne and Hastings Central, but their rivalry was all in good part and conducted in the best spirit of friendly debate. Mr. Wauchope urged that more room at Gisborne was absolutely necessary. Mr. Maddison: But how old is this Gisborne school? It is not as afneient as Hastings. Mr Wauchope: It was built before Captain Cook some of it—anyway (Laughter.) Mr. Maddison. Well’ some of the Hastings school was up before the Rev. Marsden Ta'nded in New Zealand. (More laughter.) Mr. Wauchope: Well, he was not here before the whalers. Mr. Maddison ultimately carried his point, but it was decided that Hastings Central be placed first on the list of urgency in rebuilding. a