RACY RETORTS.

King Country Chronicle, Volume XVIII, Issue 1895, 1 December 1923, Page 7

RACY RETORTS.

It is told (says N. Macleod Caie, in the Weekly Scotsman) that a lady once asked Samuel Johnson for a candid criticism of her poems. She received a reply which put all writers of testimonials and recommendations under an imperishable debt to the Doctor. “Madam, nobody has a right to place another under such a difficulty that he must either hurt the person by telling the truth, or hurt himself by telling what is not true.” To the credit of Disraeli more than one racy retort may be set. An ambitious author sent a bulky volume to him, and requested his opinion of it. “Sir,” came the reply, “I have lost no time in reading your book. ' A boaster said to Lord Palmerston, “I’m a self-made man!” “Then,” retorted Palmerston, “you took a great responsibility off the Creator.” An obscure preacher called to see Spurgeon one day, but was told by the maid that the great man was engaged. “Tell him,” said the caller, “that the servant of the Lord wishes to see him.” On receiving the message, Spurgeon tli us instructed the maid—“ Tell the servant of the Lord that I am engaged with his Master.” A naval captain of the older school received a young cadet on his first joining the ’ ship with the remark: “Well, youngster, the old story, I suppose—the fool of the family sent to sea.” “Oh, no, sir,” replied the youngster; ’ “that’s all been altered since your day.!” Numerous racy retorts stand to tlie credit of lawyers and judges. “I only took them for a joke,” said a man in court who was charged with stealing hoots. “How far did you carry them?” asked the judge. “A mile and a half, my Lord.” “I think,” rejoined the judge, “that was carrying the joke too far.” A .rather unsatisfactory witness in a certain court, declared that he had been wedded to the truth since infancy. “Yes,” retorted the judge, “but the question is how' long have you been a widower?” The most polite judge who ever occupied the English Bench is said to have been Baron Graham. Having sentenced a prisoner, he was reminded that the man was still waiting. “Oil, I am sure I beg your pardon,” he said to the culprit; and immediately lie passed sentence of transportation for life!