WISE AND OTHERWISE.

King Country Chronicle, Volume XII, Issue 1221, 7 June 1919, Page 7

WISE AND OTHERWISE.

fimtor: I would like to see tho photo of tho lady with the £IOO,OOO dowry. Matrimonial .Agent: We don't show photos with the largo dowries. Does your mother give you anything if you go to bed without crying? N-no; but she gives me something if I don't. Marv, said the sick man to liis wife, after the doctor had pronounced it a m-p of smallpox. If any of my or* call, tell them that I am at last in a position to give them something. Dearest, he whispered, wo are coming to a tunnel. Don't you dare to kiss me! she threatened. No, dear, it's lighted by electricity. Oh, she cried, how proroking! Singleton: Wigwag seems frightfully despondent. He says he doesn't are what happen* to him. Henpcckle: The first thing you know, that fellow will be going off Retting married. Reporter: That was a shocking •nurder last niaht. Have you arrested die murderer? Policeman: No. sir, hut we have locked up twenty people who saw the crime committed. Ma, said the newspaper man's son, I know why editors call themselves •Vc." Why? So the man who doesn't like the article will think there are too •nany people for him to tackle. You don't know what that's a picture of. Johnny? said Mrs. Ma'nprop, : n a tone of reproof. Yon ought to read cour ancient history more. That is •Jio temple of Dinali at Emphasis. I'm a little dubious about buying tho business. Still, the owner says he has good reasons for wanting to sell. Pve no doubt he has. ButJ bow are we to find out what they are? I tell you it's heavenly to lie in jed of a morning and ring the bell for rour manservant. Have yon a man;ervant? No, but I've got a beautiful belli Ho: So young March and his father iro carrying on the business? She: Ves. The old man runs the business, vvhile young March does the carrying in. Miss Charmin: You've a good mind to kiss me? Well, I must say I admire rour cheek? Fargon: And I like yours, rhat's why I've a good mind to kiss you.

Miss Old: I would never nvn-ry anyjne but a hero. Miss Curt: Yon could a*!silv wake ft mail a- liero. Miss O'fl: How? Miss Curt: By getting him to marry you. Ili»: I low bright the star* arc tonight! They ate almost as bright as £ Oh. you flatter me." He (proceeding) : they were last night. Ilnby offs'Tfl an explanation of l.er tenrfnl mood. I've* been to a wedding, she? said. I always cry more at a wedding than I do at a funeral. It's so much more uncertain. The t<-a< li'-r a.xked: Elsie, when do you .say "Thank you:'" Elsie's face lightened up. For that was one thing shf» knew, and she confidently answered: When we have company. Lerturer: T defy anyone to name n man who works better with bis irlnss t; -wi without it- Man in Rear: I know nnp. TjT'turer: Who is that? Man in Rear: A glazier. The Highbrow: Yon hare been in Stratford? Then you remember that Passage from Shakespeare " Mrs. IJichquicke: No; wc didn't take it. We came by another route. "Do you believe in hypnotism ?" he tnquired. gazing steailily into her blue eves. "I she replied. "I feel that you are going to kiss mc, and I am powerless to resist." "My engagement to Miss Pretty got broken oft because T stole a kiss." "Nonsense! Miss Pretty would never object to that." "Yes, she did. 1 stole it from another girl." Photographer: "Try to look pleasant, please." Short-tempered Sitter: "You get on with the job. The photo, is for some relatives who want to come and stay a month with me." Chief: "Tell me, sir, why have yoo so utterly failed to get a clue to this crime?" Detective: "It isn't my fault. The reporters are down on me, an' ;hcy won't tell mc anything!" Johnson: Holloa, old man, you'm acquainted with young Nickinson, aren't you? Do you know whai he's been doing lately? Thompson: Yes, his employer. Johnson: Indeed! You surprise me. What's he doing &Mrl Thompson: Sis months.

Mr. Ploupli. a farmer, was showing off liis live stock to a visitor. When Utrv en mo to tho pigsty the visitor nikcri: What is tho matter with your pips to-day? They seem ravenously hungry. Oh. it's jtisfc like this, replied the farmer. We're not breeding them for exhibition. hut just for eating 1 . Tho people aro.md here like streaky bacon, so tie fool the pigs well one day and starve tl.ein lis* -*ext 1M