TALES OF BENCH AND BAR.

King Country Chronicle, Volume VII, Issue 577, 18 June 1913, Page 2

TALES OF BENCH AND BAR.

Mr Arthur H. Engelbach has col - lected some admirable Anecdotes of Bench and Bar," writes "LP." in T.P.'b Weekly:— A highwayman named Bolland, confined in Newgate sent for a lawyer to know how he would defer his trial, and was answered: By getting a doctor to make his amft'davit of your illness." Thiß was accordingly done in the following manner:—The deponent verily believes that if the said James Bolland is obliged to take his trial at the ensuing sessions he will be in imminent danger of his life." To which the learned judge on the Bench answered that he verily believed so too. The trial wag ordered to proceed immediately. Baron Channel! was a great eater and at one o'clock precisely, whatever the state of the case being tried before him, the Court adjourned for luncheon, and an excellent lunch it was. When the Court of Assizes are at any distance fi-om the judge's lodgings, Vie judge's cook, who travels round the circuit with them, usually asks the judges before starting for the court in the sheriff's carriage in the morning what he shall send them down for lunch. Baron Channel; ana Mr Justice Bramwell were descending the stairs side by side when the cook made the usual enquiry. "Oh," said Channel], who was senior judge, in the short, clipping words and style peculiar to him. "Send me my lunch at once, punctually mind. I'll have —let me see—l'll have a basin of clear mock-turtle, and a chicken and some peas and potatoes, and an apple tart and some sherry and seltzer; at once, mind; not later." "Yes, my lord," replied the cook; and turning to Mr Justice Bramwel, "What shall I send vour lordship?" "Ob, thank you, cook, was the reply, in the slow, solemn and almost mournful voice of the brother judge, "I'll have what I have at 1.30 p.m., then it won't disturb Baron Channel!. I'll have, if ycu please, at half-past one, a piece of stale seed cake and seme camomile tsa.' A well-known judge often relieved his judicial wisdom with a touch of humour. One day during the trial of a case. Mr Gunn was a witness in the box, and as he hesitated a good deal, and seemed unwilling after much persistent questions, to tell what he knew, the judge said to him: "Come, Mr Gunn, don't hang fire." After the examination was closed, the Bar was convulsed by the judge adding: "Mr Gunn, you can go off, you are discharged." Mr Justice Grantham was a noted agriculturist. On one occa3ion he heard a labourer in a railroad crriage tell another that he had purchased two "foine little pupß for thirty bob apiece." The judee could not let that pass. He leaned forward and pointed out to the man how much mora thrifty he would have shown himself had be invested in pigp, fattened tbem up, and Here the labourer cut him short with: "Ay, and a fool I should 'a' looked goin' rattin' with two pigs." Once when the Athanaaian Creed was being erected at the Temple Chruch, a distinguished lawyer, noted for the leniency with which he ad ministered criminal justice, was ob served to sit down, while the rest of the congregation, as uiual, remained standing. A lady enquired the rpason after the service, and was told he was protesting against the long sentences. A case was tried in a County court irf;an action for detinue of a donkey. The plaintiff was a costermonger, and the defendant a costermonger also. They appeared for themselves. At one o'clock the judge gaid: "Now, my men, I'm going to have my lunch, and before I come back I hope you'll settle your dispute out of Court." When the judge returned into Court the plaintiff came in with a black sye, and the defendant said: "Well, your Honour, we've taken your Honour's advice; Jim's given me a damn good hiding, and I've given him back his donkey!" A barrister, more fluent in his speech than careful in his metaphors, was guilty of the following peroration:—"Gentlemen, it will be for you to say whether this defendant, shall be allowed to come into Court with unblushing footsteps with the cloak of hypocrisy in his mouth, and draw thiee bullocks out uf my client's pocket with inanity." Mr Justice Lawrence, who was an ardent golfer in his yuunger clays, told the following story against himself. A boy appeared before him as a witness, and on the learned judge asking him if he was acquainted with the nature of an oath, the youth promptly replied: "Of course 1 am; ain't T your caddie?" A man was put on his trial at the Old Bailey for highway robbery, and a witness of the prosecutor swore positively to him, saying, she had seen his face distinctly, as it was a bright moonlight night. The prisoner's counsel cross-examined this witness so as to have it clear that it was a moonlight night, and she stuck to her statement. In addressing the jury the prisoner's counsel said he was in a position to prove that the night on which the alleged crime was committed was not on a moonlight night. In proof of this, he would refer to an authority that could not lie —he meant, the almanac. The almanac was hauded up to the judge, who told the jury it was so—there could be no moonlight; and the prisoner was acquitted. It turned out that all the prosecutor's witnesses had said was true. It was a moonlight night, and the false almanac had been printed specially for the occasion. j