MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume IV, Issue 5, 5 December 1877, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

The Baynton life-saving dress \s to bo appliad to purposes other than those whiuh secured royal patronage, but more in accordance, with the spirit of the age — namely to slay not, to save. The irrepressible Boynton~Mike of that ilk, not Paulr— is organising no less tremendous a stimqlacrum of warfare than the "attack, defence, and destruction of an ironclad fleet, " by electrio torpedoes, newly in* vented, aud intended solely for service in connection with the swimming costume. The torpedoes may be used either i from the end of a sectional spar carried by the swimmer -n whose equipment includes means of propulsion, electric battery, aud firing attachments — or fixed to any surface, and driltcd to the object of attack ( Ihe experiments will be made off Kamsgate, and ought to be useful as well as interesting, if only a few of tl\e tweed* dads that affeot the strand can be blown HP along with the other inoffensive ironclads. An English clergyman and a lowland Scotsman visited oho of the bpst sohools in Aberdeen. They were strangers, but the master received them civilly and ininquired, '• Would you prefer that I should speer these boys, or Jha'- you should speer them your selves?" The English clergyman, having asceitained that to "spoer'' meant to question, desired the nvistcr to -proofed, lie did so with areat success, and the hoys angered .satis faotorily numerous mti'vrog^tiojvs as to the exodus of the Iswelities fyom Egypt. The clergyman then said he would be glad in his turn to " speer" the boys and at once begun, " How did Pharaoh die?" There was a, dead silence. In this dilemma the Lpwlaud. gentleman ia.ierp.osed. "I t.biuk, sir, the boys arc not accustomed to. your English accent; let me try what X can make of them." Vnd be inquired ia his liroud Scotch; "I l«o dm i'liawrouh. d\-e?>" Again there waa a dead silence y .upon which the master said, *■' I think, gentlemen you can't speer these boy.* I'll show you 'how to doit.*' Aud h.e pvu«(weded, " i ( 'at cam to I'hawiouwh at his hinder end?'' The boys answered promptly, ''He was drooned ;" and, ii\ addition, a smart little fellow commented, "> Oily laotio could hae told you that." Melbourne is well served with eloquent preachers. Mr Varley maiutams his spell, and claims about 3.000 conversions here. Key. Thomas Jonei, Ht £I*4oo. per annuw, fills the Mei*>puliian Independent Ghu,rcli. Key. C. Strong, aud £>. Chapman, atoftly £800 -each, have the lending Presbyterian and Baptist Churches, He* Qerme Smith. D.JX, has C9«e as a deputation from th? English Wealeyou Conference, and is a genuhe preacher,, solid yet fam,ilia.r,. direct aud povyertuu , Yarl.ey, is oue of those gaen whp care tor uobody, aud he lashes out rigUt and l«« al the actual vices ot the. day aud place,, not indulging in mystic- talk apropos o * "°" ! <* in^.. He. loudly tells, the women to " bwru, tbpsp featlu-rs !." — bu,t they d'>D,'t.. Tu,e latest idea ill uitualisia is a P ro ;; jjected " Or,der oi' Corporate- Ke-wiion* an organisation that aicjs at re^eata*»l>sJ|-j iiigthe A»glieau Ckur-ch wpon v 'her ?'"• lafl/J>m.arks i" and a long pastoral set 4 ' 0 * fovth the principles and objects of •j^" E£JB society wraa issued receatljf- *•"& docu/nent atarta by deploriag " thae^ 1 state info which the iNational Church o Eu^laudi has been brought b>y departure from, ancien,t principles and by recent eventa:" ajid.th.eu enumerates some of the abuses, from which tfi£ Ch,u,rcU is StUjJeriug, and protests agains,t them. Among them ar©. the so-calledi electiou and conflcßjatiou of bishops, and> the s.cau,dalous oa'h taken by^ltem, on appointing ; the receafc d,iivision of existing dji^tses, andLthp niod>- of appoj,a,tment to th,ese sees : and the- passing o£ th.c Public Worship Kegulatiou, Act. Tiie."so-rcalled Royal Supremacy "is declared^ to be a mere pretext fur effecting tbje degradation of the Church and the overthrow of Chris'ianity. The basis of the order of the Corporate. JJeunions is stated to be '-' The Catholic F-aith as defined by the Seven General Councils, aeknoxsl edged iW such by the whole. Church of East ajid West before tlw gawat and deplorable schism, and as qomtnonly receiv.od m the Apostles' Creed, the Greed of- Nicene, aud Creed of St Athjaflasius." The gratifying intelligence reaches us from Victoria that an Indian woman has been pulled down by a'i octopus while bathing. She was. half dewujjed beforeher remains xseye r,escued fronv the monster, by mpans of native divers,. who cut them ou,t from the feelers, of the- huge brute. A remedy is. at once suggested for the gcowing nuisance of the sportiveandi oq.ua.tic hoodlum, in fan Fraucisco. Five or sis first-class and reliable octopi. should at ouce be procured in "Victoria,, and transplanted jast off the favourite bathing grounds of our local juvenile fiends, audi out fervent aspiration, as each of these blotches on humanity sprang into the water,, w.ould be : " May the octopus, hold" you, in, his safe aud holy keeping." San Francisco Kews. Letter. Oue of the most striking characteristics of woman is. her cheerful perseverance iv lookiug under the bed.ior a man. No dan in his senses ever looks under the bed for a woman, but there are millions of women who would find it qnjte impossible to sleep in any • bed under, they had not previously searched for a concealed man. Experience is Ipst upon them, The average uutiinrried woman of forty. I years of age has usually looked under the bed at least 7,500 times, without ever oncefiudiug the expected man, but she is not in the least discouraged by so long a. ! course, of failure ; aud it would be easy to.

tind women ot eignty or ninety j-*ib who still nightly search for the mau whom they had nerer found. r *t|j At the invitation of the Committee of ; | the East Melbourne Cricket Club abnni **i forty gentlemen connected with the dif- r ferent metropolitan clubs assembled in the jj tipppr room, of tho Hall of Commerce, a Melbourne, for the purpose of haviDg a 1 parting glass of wine with the Viotorian J portion of the Australian cricket team M before thoir departure to Sydney, and *M wishing them a pleasant journey and a 69 safe return. The chair was f aken by tho S Hon R, D, Reid, M.LC, and the mem*^H bers of the team present were MessrjyH Boyle, Horan, Blaokham, Allan, andßH Kendall. Mr Keid, in proposing tlil«H| health and success of the team, said that I they were now starting for a preliminary canter round the Colonies, prior to learn ing for the Old Country, and when they arrived in England he was quite sure they ; would do their best to uphold the honour of Australia in the cricket field. It was J?* not to be expected lhat they would wia-**» >, every match! but he reminded them that Jty* an Australian had gone to England and," 4 * wrested from the holder the rowing I championship of the world, while their l firemen at Wimbledon had made anything hut a poor show, and he was quite sure the team sent from Australia to uphold our cricketing reputation would give h good account of themselves. Tho Lodon Spectator, in a remarkablearticle showing prac'ically lhat England is on the road to decay, looks forward ta the time when her factories will close on*> by one. Her iron and coal mines will be shut up, like tl c tin mines in Cornwall. The fires in her forges will be blown out ; the ships will be laid up to rot, and so forth, The only suggested remedy is the discovery of some new industry to replace those already waning. The writer is certified to as one of the shrewdest antl ablest men of iho day* Speculating upon tVie social and political future, he says—* Taxation will bo light, for the debt will he lujht, for the debt will be gone— shaken, off as beyoud the new means. The throne will be gone, as too expensive and useless ? and the country, organised like Switzerland will be thinly populated by a, nice with the hereditary habit of eduoa* lion, but with few desires or opportumtiea of exeitemeut. The inherent- conservatism, of the people will have tts fullest scope. The abitious and the energetic will go. elsewhere i fur there will be nothing to do, here.