CONTRACT BRIDGE

Hokitika Guardian, 13 June 1936, Page 6

CONTRACT BRIDGE

COLOUR-CONSCIOUS COMPLEX. Contract bridge has become a pretty complex disease under Doctor Culbertson. But lie at least confides , his prescriptions to the bidding and play of the cards.

Unwillingly, presumably, to leave addicts only partly demented, Dr Walter Brown, an American eye* expert, has now joined the romp with an analysis of the cards’ colour., • “Bright playing cards cause overbidding” says Dr Brown. The red of hearts and diamonds excites the fighting .spirit.” .• . -

. He suggests that hearts and diamonds, should he a deep green, which is claimed to. be restful and relaxing. I’m not so sure about that. I am constantly finding my partner lias turned a deep green, but I don’t find it either useful or relaxing.

It may be effective on cards, but then there is the danger that it would swamp the fighting spirit . too. completely, and leave you too relaxed to bid at all when your partner is yelping for a slain.

In view of Dr Brown’s theory, I suppose that all Contract systems will have to be revised.

Thus if you open One Club, your opponent calls a spade and your partner goes a tigerish Three Hearts, you deduct, say, one heart from the bid for Red Stimulus, and H honour tricks from your own holding for Naughty Temper, and let the bidding die. And when you wake up in hospital aiid they tell you you made a slam, you stand a sporting chance of getting re-elected to the club If you quote Dr Brawn.

:< The good, doctor, in fact, is going to turn Contract into a psycho-pathologi-cal diagnosis.

' Querv: YVhat is the correct reply to para:?; V opening 'bid »f Four Diae mouds?

Answer: Five Aspirin, A f ether' point arises.'"lf the red sui L s tr iad players into 1 immoderate cal'iim. what about the'backs of the cards? Each player can see 39 backs, Ktotal' area far iii • excess 'of the red pips iii Ins hand. ' Oil this basis a red-hacked pack should lash all four players into /a .bullish orgy, and one can imagine them having to call in a. firm of accountants to audit* the score.

And what about the players’ clothes and personal effects? We shall have combustible colonels requesting their partners to “take off that confounded tie Sir,” or in the case of vintage port fanciers, to get themselves a nosebag.

Redheads will he forced to play in hats, and it will be a commonplace to boar. “1 must ask you to put on vour gloves. Miss Potter. I’m overbidding on your finger nails.”