BY THE WAY

Hokitika Guardian, 7 December 1929, Page 6

BY THE WAY

GOES WITHOUT SAYING. Jones: My wife and I never disagree. Brown: I daren’t contradict my wife, either. CHANGING THE TUNE. Leader of Village Band: Now we.’ll play “Down by tho Swanee River!” Cornet Player; Gosh,! I’ve just played that! WRONG NUMBER, Motorist (calling A.A. Patrol Box): Will you send someone along? I’ve turned turtle. A.A. Man: You don’t want me, you want the Zoo. CHANGEABLE. Mrs |De Mover: Good graciousThis is the noisiest neighbourhood I ever got into. Just hear .those children screech! The Maid: They’re your own children, ma’am. Mrs Do Mover: Are they? How the little darlings are enjoying themselves ! HIS RIGHTS. Old Giles (dictating his will): And I leave my cows an’ ’osses to my second son, Garge! Airs Giles: Oh, John, yer first-horn orter ’ave ’uni! Old Giles: Drat it all, ’ooman, ’ose dying, you or me? VISION AVAS BLURRED. The man in the ainnehair was becoming dramatic. “As I sank for the third time,” he said, “there flashed before my eyes pictures of all the events of my life. I—”

Here lie was interrupted by a tall, lugubrious man at. the other side of the room.

“Did you happen to notice,” asked the tall man eagerly, “a picture of me lending you a fiver twelve years ago ?”

GOOD VALUE. A parson was walking slowly down the steps outside a large provincial station, when a small hoy with a bundle of newspapers ran toward him. “All the winners, sir!” he shouted, brandishing an evening paper in front of the good- man. “All the winners and prices!” The parson looked a trifle shocked. “Took here, my lad,” lie said, “has your paper nothing else in it but winners ?” The lad pressed a copy into his hand. “Yes, sir, rather!’’ he replied. “•It’s got all the runners for to-mor-row as well!”