HERE AND THERE

Hokitika Guardian, 27 July 1929, Page 3

HERE AND THERE

A deputation of small boys approached the vicar. “Please, sir,” said the leader, "we are trying to form a carpentry class, so would you please help us by giving some of the vices the congregation say you have? ” A tramp was on the road begging. When he called at one house a policeman' happened' to open the door, and asked him wliat he wanted. “Please sir,” said the tramp, “? haven’t had anything to eat for a week and I don’t want anything now.” “ Here, Bob, why did the foreman sack you yesterday ? ” “ Well, a foreman is one who stands around and watches his men at work.” “ 1 know, but what’s that to do with it?” “Why, he got jealous of me. People thought I was the foreman.” The motor car dashed down the hill at the speed of an express train, and then overturned, pimiTng the driver beneath it. The village policeman approached pompously. “ !lt’s no use your hiding under there,” he said sternly, to the halfsmothered driver. “ You were exceeding the- speed limit, and I must have vour name and address.”

A country school council was visiting a school, and the principal was putting his pupils through their paces. “Who signed -Magna Charta?” he asked, turning to one boy. “Please, sir, ’twasn’t me?” whimpered the youngster. The teacher, in disgust, told him to take his seat, but an old countryman, on the council was not satisfied. “Call that boy back,” he said. “I don’t like his manner. I believe he did do it.”