COURT NEWS.

Hokitika Guardian, 29 September 1928, Page 6

COURT NEWS.

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE.

LONDON, August 9

“ Wilkes and Liberty ” was a popular cry nearly 200 years ago. History, as usual is repeating itself. John Wilkes, one-time L ol< l Mayor of London, the man who founded the “North Briton,” was committed to •the Tower for libel. Few Londoners know that there js an obelisk erected to his memory at Ludgate Circus ,E.C. John Wilkes, tipster, was fined 10s at Tower Bridge Police Court yesterday for standing in the market-place, Lower Marsh, \ Lambeth, S.Ey, oh Saturday afternoon and obstructing the traffic by selling lucky beans and giving racing tips. ■ “Wilkes and Winners” was his slogan, and no obelisk will bfe erected to i lii§,.-pieihoryTv-.although haulid clainr intimate freindship with Sir William Horwood, the Commissioner of Police, on the basis of a formal letter des> patched from Scotland Yard referring to a previous summons. The modern John Wilkes lias a hoarse voice, a slight physique, and ap extensive .vocabulary. Wearing, among other things, a jockey cap, ,he was doing a brisk business in the market until a police sergeant, evading his touts, appeared in the crowd, objected to it, and carried of John Wilkes for creating an obstruct jo.n. v ! iv : ,'BH ' b■ ■ “Have you any animosity against meT”; demanded the modern (Wilkes. ■ *' “Not at all,’’ said the sergeant; “it is‘ all in"the day’s work.” “Th,en why did you arrest me in 1926l3Wwa»i3ed •. 1 ? •-J ; * vv.VSaihei thing,i and-tyou. tbld the sahie implied s >tlie jsebgefa&t iddldly .-■ * j Mr Campion, one of the new Metropolitan magistrates, gave John Wilkes a lot of latitude, of which he took full advaptager ': >:?< r ;- : t* b.i’: : Mr Bernard Campion, K.C., who was. Recorder for Northampton before he succeeded Mr Vernon Gattie at Towei Bridge, has a clever, clean-cut face, ja'hd - !a'-^mpathetie-planner. -Before- he was a lawyer he was a journalist, and it is interesting to note hew the old instinct to say something witty is suppressed by the judicial mind concenfrktdd sdjaigthffigl ihii>roja^ 0 0-1 0. ML 0 GUr ■}': ****** Mr Campion occupies the seat of the V ? M(;: i who ( sternly discouraged garrulous applicants—-a; pol- f ’icy that paid .in the Tower Bridge, Police Court, which caters'for the largo and eloquent Irish population in Bermondsey.

••* P ’ * Albert, an acient who suffers from depression and grey whiskers, tried to be a complete criminal and became merely an object of sympathy. He was arrested for drunkeness, but he was not really drunk ; , he was arrested for begging but ihs 'importunity .lu|d earned him only a penny; and when taken to his cell at Southwark police station he tried to commit suicide by scratching his wrist-with the metal .tag. of a boot lace.”

“Nobody,” .said a doctor—speaking seriously; buf with a twinkle in his eye “could open, an artery with the end of a boot lace.”

“L-suppose,” remarked the magistrate—also .seriously, hut returning the twinkle—“the only chance he had of -ommitting suicide was to swallow the tilling?” ■ Allieyt,.,who abjectly pleaded guilty to everything—including bis whiskers -—was remanded so that be could re coyer 'from a prolonged drinking bout. * * * * * ' A Sometimes an interperter’s job is a profitable one. Four smiling Scandi-. naivinn sailors followed each other into the dock. “Drunk?” asked the interpreter. “Yes,” replied each salior. ; -“Half-a-crown and 8s 6d costs,” said the magistrate, and the interpreter was paid at the rate ol 8s (id a word, -or £1 14s for four minutes’ work. * * * * But it is not always so easy. I have heard the interpreter at Thames Police -Cjpiirt struggle with five prisoners in five different languages, and in between have a diplomatic argument in Yiddish with a disgruntled woman applicant who wanted to tell the magistrate what she thought about his personal appearance, his past history, and his future destination. * * *■ , * * * Armed with 23 boxes of matches, an optimistic disposition, and the exhilarating effects of an alcoholic orgy,

Henry' the beggar pitted himself against the onrushing traffic at the Elephant and Castle. Canute, surrounded by his flattering courtiers, was i not more impressive than Henry, surrounded by disapproving constables. “Back hack!” commanded H em 'y stretching forth his rffiht hand, which held a box of matches; but the tide of traffic rolled on and Hery was snatched from the whirl of wheels by a constable who besought him to be more careful. The drivers of several omnibuses and tramway-cars added their entreaties to the earnest request of the constable, and Henry was so touched by the general solicitude that at the police station he asked to see a doctor, who cost him 10s 6cl on top of 3s Cd fine.

****** Because she put a strange baby into her perambulator, a young wife complained, her parents-in-law threatened her. They decided that collecting strange babies was not a. hobby to encouraged. * w « * * Among the most terrifying things that Hollywood has let loose on an unprotected world is the movie mothei. This film mother supplies prodigal sons and repentant daughters in large quantities, and as a profesional sufferer she gives 100 yards of film and a weepipg to the early martyrs. Elei sacrifice is terrible and her lorgivcness is devastating. Often I have, suffered from the selfsacrificing imposition of the movie mother, and it. was refreshing to lipar yesterday at Old-street Police Court s real mother telling a real son exactly what' she thought about him. . Barney, of the wavy, hair and the dark eyes, looked like a firm hcio, blit he was no hero t'p. his mothei, h practical alien who turned him out bcclxiise be would not pay rent for his room. Barney, aged 26, would not work. * * * * Barney’s mother did not melodiously inquire, “Where is my wandering boy ‘to-night ?” As a matter ol fact she locked the front door which son Barney was trying to break down when a constable arrested him for insulting behaviour. “Will you leave your mother alone if I hind you,oyeraskpd Mr Campion, the magistrate. Barney .was not quite sure, because being out of work, lie bad novvhcie else to go. fie wanted to go home to mother, and,mother said she would see him gaoled first. So Barney promised .'and the case was settled without treacle and.tears. , , 1 Bu,t wjiat a shock for the movie mother! ~t . ... . * . * * * * * Another shock was administered to sentimental philanthropists whose speis the wliote-washing of black sheep.

A. stalwart young nian who had-just served six months’ hard labour confidently fipplicdHo tlie magistrate for assistance but of the poor box. He demanded assistance net as a charity but as a right, ! AiVd ho was disgusted when Mr Campion declared that he would not draw on the poor'‘box of a strange court. ' ' '' .. The yoiithful criminal could not under'^tand'‘the reservation Having Cfom--mietated crome,'he really thought that lie was. entitled to practical sympathy In a way he vVas justified, because it is the law to get a jobtmecemtce n is easier for 99 youths who have broken the law to get n ioh than it is for one honest boy who has never been in the dock. I say that deliberately without the fear of being challenged. If 1 was a youth out of work I would committ a crime as a sure and swift mtrod 1

to a good job. That is why the metropolitan police courts are frequently exploited as a glorified labour exchange. The police court missionaries, men and women, arc doing splendid work, but their good Shepherding is confine:! the black sheep. Alary Linden' tall, plump, and hysterical, gave a Int o ftrouble when she was arrested for being drunk and disorderly. Two ; constables who took her to' the police station became nervous wrecks’: Mary, very contrary, having been fined 7s fid, bad liystci ics in the dock, and the gaoler carried her out into the corridor. For the next five minutes the court was embarrassed by the screams of Mary, a,nd the neighing of an elderly horse’ that Inspector Knight of the B S.P.C.A., bad condemned to death, a sentence that was confirmed by the magistrate.

LONDON August 9. The first application for advice was from a young Australian whose wife had left iiim and their children because alio was “fed up.” “What shall I do?” asked the young hushanu. “There is a law,” said Mr. Cairns, “that makes a man do his duty towards his. wife, but there is no law that compels a wife to do her duty by her husband. You see,” he remarked sarcastically, “women are the oppressed sex. Tf your wife does not want the affection of a decent man and has no love for her children you will he happier without her. Let her go.”

Bitter words, hut true. Our metropolitan magistrates are among the few people who realise the extent of women’s revolt against the home. Ibsen’s “Doll’s House” is a nursery tale compared with the commonplace records of a London police court. ****** “This woman is complaining of this man and lie is complaining of her” an-

hoilnced the warrant officer parading the couple impartially. “Not husband a lid wife?” inquired the surprised magistrate. “Certainly not!” said the man indignantly. 1 “Thank Heaven, no!” replied the woman feelingly. “Just next-door neighbours, T am fra-id sir,” said the warrant officer cynically. “He’s always throwing snacks (insults),’’ complained the woman. 1 will give m.v case in a clear and concise wav,’’ declared the man. “That will be very refreshing,” remarked Mr. Cairns. “Regaling myself on salad,” began tne applicant ponderously, “I was interrupted by my little girl aged seven having an argument with another girl aged nine.” “Not nine, only eight,” snapped the woman. “The children continued to disagree, and——” “You are talking like a penny novelette; go home and cultivate a sense of humour,” suggested Mr. Cairns. “A sence of humour j” groaned the man ; “I' came hero for advice and he talks about a sense of humour. Is this a court or a theatre?” ***** “A hoy threw an onion through a shop window,’’ declared a determined mother, pushing her flustered son into the witness-box. “That’s funny,” observed the smiling magistrate. “Not a. bit funny,’-’ retorted the angry mother. “The shopkeeper smacked my son’s head. Henry, show him the place,” “ Ere,” said Henry rcluctantlv, indicating a spot behind his right ear. . . > “Take a summons and we shall see what we shall sec,” said the magistrate wearily.. A young, wife, who had left her husband complained that she was being gradually separated from her furniture. “He comes in without an invitation and leaves with a chair, or a table, or anything lie can lay his hands on. Every time he comes in I mjss something.” Mr Cairns smiling suggested the county court.