QUIPS IN COURTS.

Hokitika Guardian, 25 August 1928, Page 4

QUIPS IN COURTS.

Acton Magistrate: We are all as weak as water where women are concerned . Willesden Husband: My wife is a heavy smoker and complains that I will not increase her cigarette allowance. » * * » * * Nottingham Husband: My wife greeted me sweetly by throwing the sugar basin at me !

A woman complained at High gate N. that her husJbnnd did not amuse her The Clerk: What amusement do you want? The wife: I want him to talk to me. *** * ■ V Woman at Willesden: My husband is a. good worker but a week-end drinker. Mr Cairns, the Thames Magistrate: I wonder why all wives are angelic and all husbands diabolical. v * * * “He is my most profitable tenant and pays the rent in terms of abuse.” —A Nottingham landlord. ‘‘l can’t get my husband to strike me so that I can have something to show.”—-A Willesden wife.

Wife at Highgate: My husband scratched me. The Clerk: Did you scratch him first? The Wife: Yes. The Clerk: Then the scratching was mutual.

Mr Cairns referring to the long list of week-end squabbles: I think every Monday we will begin the service here by singing “Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,” with the usher lending the choir. *' * * * *

When “Sham Kelly” was called at Westminister County Court, Judge Sir Alfred Tobin asked : What nationality is Mr. Sham Kelly? Counsel: British. Judge Tobin : If godfathers and godmothers gave permission, was the clergyman bound to confer the name? Counsel: I don’t know; perhaps the clergyman could explain. * * * * *

“I never make friends with policemen.”—A constable at Manchester.

Young husband at "West Hartlepool: I would not hurt a woman for the world. I an not a lion-tamer.

A test case brought by the Holborn Council affecting the legality of a Sunday market which lias been held in Seven Dials for many years was adjourned at Bow-street.