A CYNIC'S WORD BOOK

Hawera & Normanby Star, Volume LIII, Issue LIII, 16 April 1908, Page 6

A CYNIC'S WORD BOOK

Air. — That nutritious suostamce so> abundantly supplied by a bountiful TProvide&ce for the fattening of the poor. Architect. — One who drafts a plan ©I your house, and plane a draft of your money; who estimates the whole cost, and "costs" the whole estimate. Back. — The part oi your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity. • Beawty. — The power by which a woma» charms a lover and terrifies a busband. Bore. — A person who talks when you wish him to listen. Cat. — A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle. Coward.- : -one who in a perilous emergency thinks with bis legs. j ■Fib. A lie thai has not cut its teeth. ; iianid. — A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm, and commonly thrust intosomebody's pocket. Hash. — There is no definition for this word — nobody knows what hash is. Helpmate. — A wife, or bitter fialf. House. — A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe. I.— The firel object of affection. Idiot. — A, member of a large and power- j ful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and control- 1 Ignoramus. — A person ufliacquainted with certain kinds ol knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds thatyou know nothing about Justice. A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes, and personal service. Learning.— The kind of ignorance difitinguishiag the studious. i Lecturing. — One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear, and his faith in your patienoe.