Lighter Moments

Hutt News, Volume XXII, Issue 7, 28 July 1948, Page 4

Lighter Moments

SOME WIT AND HUMOUR PRECAUTIONARY A woman posed for a. snapshot in front of the fallen pillars of an ancient, temple in Greece. "Don't get the car in the pic-" iure," she begged, "or my TTttsband Will think I ran into the place." THE TEST Binks: Do you believe in free speech, old chap? Banks: I certainly do. Binks: Well, in that, case do von mind if I use your telephone'? A WELSH RABBIT Three Welshmen went into an inn and ordered three bottles of beer. The first one said: "Dew, dew! The finest glass of beer I never drunk any more!" The second said: "So have I, neither!" s . The third echoed: "Neither have T, too!" A MATTER OF WEIGHT "Why so gloomy, Tom?" "Well, as a matter of fact, I'm •wrestling with my conscience." "Oh, I see a featherweight match." SPECIFICATION "Pardon me," said the lady on a marketing expedition, "but are these eggs fresh?" "Absolutely, madam," replied tha grocer promptly. "The farmer I purchased those eggs from won't allow his hens to lay them any other way."

CAT TO CAT Mrs. Backbite and her "friend were discussing people and things over afternoon tea. Their conversation turned at last to the woman who had come tc live next. door. "What do you think of her'J" asked Airs. Pry of her hostess. "Quite nice," replied Mrs. Backbite, not- to be so easily drawn into scandal, in case her remarks were repeated to the person under review. "Quite so," said Mrs. Pry, who was determined not to be frustrated. "Rut —speaking as cat to cat — what do you really think of her?"

OFF! "Gerald," said the heiress, "1 have been thinking." "Thinking of me, precious?" asked Gerald. "Indirectly, yes. T have been thinking that if you married me, everybody would say you only did so to get my money." ' "What care I for the unthinking world?" "But, Gerald, I will marry you." ".My own dear " "And I will not have people say unkind things about you, so 1 have

arranged to give my fortune to the missionaries. . . Why, Gerald, where are you going?" Gerald paused long enough on his way to the door to look back and mutter: "I'm going to be a missionary." QUITE LIKELY Wraith: It's tough when yon have to pay forty cents a pound for meat. Butcher: Yes, but it'd be a sight tougher if you paid only ten.

RITE MAY The Bride: Oh, darling, our honeymoon was just, the loveliest, that ever was! The Groom: It certainly was, .dearest. The Bride: 1 have only one regret —I may never have the pleasure of going through another! THE VICTOUS CrRCLE 1 "At twenty-six you left the farm and came to the city. And for thirty years you've been working like the dickens. What for?" "To get money enough to live in the country." Proven remedy for Coughs—Colds— Woods' G'reat Peppermint Cure. WCE. Woods Ltd., L:imbton Qy., Wellington.