WIT AND HUMOUR

Hutt News, Volume 13, Issue 40, 27 March 1940, Page 3

WIT AND HUMOUR

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR "How are your cars selling?" "We can't make them fast enough." "Well, at least you're frank." NO SALE "Why don't you read this boolt of world history from 5000 B.C. to 1!)3!) A.D.r "Aw, I looked at it, and don't like the way it ends." OPTIMIST Officer: Any complaints'? Private: Indeed, sir, I found a cigarette end in my soup. Officer: Good heavens! What did you expect to find—a box of fifty? THE VANISHING TRICK The music hall conjuror had not had an engagement for months, and he and his wife were having a very lean time. "A friend called to see them, and was astonished to find them both sitting down to a large and tasty dinner. "That's fine!" exclaimed the visitor. "If you can afford such a splendid meal as this it can only mean that you've got an engagement at last." "You're wrong, Joe," grunted the poor conjuror, "but if I ever do get a job again I'll not be able to perform my great 'rabbits and pigeons' trick." THREE IN ONE Three men named Jones, all in the same line of business, opened shops next to each other. The one on the right had the name Jones painted in large letters over the door. The one on the left immediately did "the same thing. • The signwrlter then the centre Mr. Jones, asking'him if he would like his paine painted also. 1 "No," said the wily one. "I want you to paint the word 'entrance' over my door."