WIT and HUMOUR.

Hutt News, Volume 3, Issue 30, 18 December 1930, Page 12

WIT and HUMOUR.

Freddy: What is an iceberg daddy! . Daddy: Why, it's a kind of pej-mahent wave, old son. "friear: What is your name, my little man! Boy: You should know. Mother said you christened 'me. Nurse; Jiini&y> an angel has just brought you a baby brother. Would you like to see him? Jimmy: I'd like to see the angel. Calld?: Is Miss Jones inf Servant: No madam. Caller (surprised-) : Where is she? Servant: Don't you know, mum? Miss Jones is going to be married and she goes to college every afternoon to take lessons in domestic silence! " HIS NATIVE LAND A Bed Indian of considerable culture was engaged to play a part in a Hollywood film production. One day while he was in the studio .waiting instructions, a new film star approached him;, with the idea .of putting the stranger at lease in his new surroundings. - : *«Well" said the film star, "how do you likeonr cityf" . "Very well, thank you, '■' replied the Indian, "how do you like our countryf" THE EEAL QUESTION Fred: My dear Dora, let this thought console you for your. rlover 's death. ,Be member that other and better men than he have gone the same way. Bereaved One -(eagerly): They haven't all gone, have they f A BIGGER BAG THERE Doctor's Wife (to husband who h*d been.out shooting all day): Did yqu kill anything deaxj Doctor :.Ni^:;titxng. Doctor's wilj^ifZou 'd have been better at home.-"TKi^iil^ve been six patients ;here ;to-daj^*f|sf*:' : , GH3gIP. MODEL r:' : A man whov-hltd-been waiting patiently in the post office could not attract the attention of either of the girls behind the counter. "The evening cloak" explained one of the girls to her companion "was,a redin. gote design in gorgeous lame broijade, with fox fur and wide pagoda sleeved." At this point, the long-suffering customer broke jn with: t( I wonder if you could provjde me with a neat red ataJip with a dinky perforated hem, the tout ensemble delicately treated on the re \erse with gum.* Something about a penny.' 7 ;.-.:_ .■ ■ ""- -■ - ' THE CSUBSE OF 1930 "Don't cry dearie. He'll get home bef c«re long." \ ' < » | {<Oh, 'it's this terrible; prohibition that's responsible 1" ''Now you mustn't say that. Just sit down and be cfuiet. I heard him pro uioa yon he wouldn?t be goae long." "It's the same every night l> I hate ihese prohibitionists. Why didn't they leave thisf-country alonef?-*----"Hush dearie! You're just hystericalL He/11 be herein a few minutes, I'm sure." "It win be'; hours! And then my houbles will just start. Hell insist on talking the rest of the night I Oh, if it wasn't for prohibition there would be a saloon down on that corner and they'd put him out at tjvelve o'clock!- But that darn miniature golf course will let hint bang around as long as he has any money left I" A BIT MIXED Oswald the young man about town returned to his flat after having lunched well but unwisely. As soon as he entered he was met by his valet. ; , f«Weil, BeeVes," he said, "and what is it now?" "Pardon me sir,'' said the valet, "a man wishes to see you. Looks like a man with a bm." Oswald looked wonderingly at the man. . 'f Man with a bill?-'' he echoed. Don't be an ass, Beeves. Don't be absurd. Must be a bird.'' FOEGE OF HABIT He: "Mrs Swelltof . certainly isi. a beautiful ;wQman. She carries all before t her." .'<-' ' •' He spitefully) Force of habit, I sup- , poae. I hear she was a waitress before Swelltof married her."