WIT AND HUMOUR.

Hutt News, Volume 3, Issue 14, 28 August 1930, Page 8

WIT AND HUMOUR.

Dora: "I suppose the brightest momcent in your life was when Jack proposed?" ~% Doris: "Brightest? There wasn't "a particle of light in tie room." MiiTiel's grandfather had a weakness for a specially strong peppermint. sweet/ and one day- in. a very -benevolent mood he gave one to Muriel. /.-., -l ■'"' '■■:' The little girl.siicked it greedily. But her enjoyment did not last. (Suddenly she took the sweet out of her mouth and laid itibytiae open window. ' "What's the matter?" inquired the old man. "Don't you like it, after ' all?". .- .. \ . ..\ V, "l re&, thank you very much," Teplied Murnel politely "I'm only waiting I for it to cool a bit." . ' Little Leslie was very fond Of drawing and painting. Directly he returned home from school out wordd come his pencils and colour box, and another great,work be commenced. One evening Ms mother noticed an | -unusual kind of sketch and asked her son what he was drawing.. "Heaven," answered Leslie. ■'' Graciofus, child! J' gasped >his mother in a.shocked voice. "You must not dp that. Nobody knows wiat heaven looks like!" • "They will, though," returned the youthful artist, "when I get this fin ished." . . , A Scot applied for a rise, stating that he was/ contemplating marriage/- " At the end of-the week he found a fairly substantial rise in his'pay envelope. Some time later he met' the manager ""•: ■ on the stairs. "I suppose you have settled down ,to married life?" he-said. ''I'm no' married," replied the Scot. "Not married," replied the manager, in surprise. "But didn't you apply for a rise beca/use * you were thinking of getting married?" "Oh, ay," came the reply, "but I stopped thinking." Some out-of-work actors.were talking i of* the good fortune of a mutual friend who had recently fixed up a contract with a film company, w2ien the v.cry person appeared himself. The newcomer was fiiill of his fresh engagement and proudly exhibited his • contract. After listening to him an' • actor laughed bitterly: ' - ■•"-' - "That confirms what I have always said about a contract," he said. wlt*» v| Uiothing more than evidence of mutual J)^ i diatmst.''