Wrongs of Married Men.

Hot Lakes Chronicle, Volume 2, Issue 119, 20 March 1895, Page 4

Wrongs of Married Men.

By LADY COOK nee TENNESEE CHAFLIN. The circumstances relating to marriage are becoming so confused and anomalous, that a re-casting of tho laws pertaining to it must soon bo universally demanded. At present married peoplo scarcely know where they are. Tho daily papers constantly give most pathetic accounts of injured husbands in humble life resorting to Police Magistrates for assistance or advice, and finding that they have no remedy against tho misconduct of their worthless partners. Wo have not been S2>aring, from time to time, in enumerating the wrongs of women. But the men have theirs also to a les'. degree, and it is only equitable 'hat attention should bo drawn to them, for justice and fair play r hould be given t) all. We har j never demanded that women - hould have any privileges denied l j men. Wo only ask thi.t both sh yuld share alike. Not long f 0 0, when the law gave the busbar . sulo control of tho wife's unsettled property, it was right that he sho'.ld bo liable for her maintenance 33.it wnen, as now, a married wo'aan retains her own, the reason fev compelling maintenance from the husband has disappeared. She may nave a good house and a good income, and from caprice or other cause, may deny him admittonco to his married home, and to any share of her living. If destitute ho may go to the workhouse, while she is living in luxury, and no claim can bo made upon her for his sustenance. But reverse tho positions, and the husband will bo compelled to allow her a maintenance. This system falls hardest on tho poorest. It is not uncommon for a Police Magistrate to order a working man to contribute twelve shillings a week or more to the support of a separated wife. Pew men of such a ilass can do this and live. Again, since the Jackson case, no husband can compel au unwilling wife to eihabit with him. Of course this j rij.'ht-"enough. But, on the other hand, wife can compel an unwilling husbanu by a Judge's order to restore b»r to cohabitation or pay the penalty of refusal, This -seems an unfair distinction. If a husband neglect his wife and family, so that it becomo constructive cruelty, tho wife can obtain a separation order without so much as the asking. But a wifo inuj spend her days in dissipation, mayi frequent public-houses, and nejr'ectj her children, and the husband nasi neither remedy or power to prevent her. Tho wife may be a nagger, a scold, a perpetual tormentor; ono of the class whom our humorous and practical forefathers euro 1 by tho application of a ducking-stool ar.d a horsepond; she may bo guilty of any mis-1 conduct short of adultery, and the | unfortunate husband must put up with | it all. Many .such lly for refuge to the nearest tavern and drown tleir misery in drink, and often becomo criminal from misfortune. Many an honest, hardworking man, too, is punished by the Magistrates because, in his absence from homo, his wife neglected her duties and kept his children from school. If the tines aro not paid, it is ho who is imprisoned, and not the culprit wife. Widows can claim, absolutely, onethird of tho personally of husbands dying intestate, but widowers have , only a life interest in tho unwilled property of deceased wives. These are some of the wrongs under •which married men suffer, owing to the radical changes which have taken place in the relations of husband and wife since marriage was made a religious sacrament. A more rational perception of its nature, however, is

beginning to prevail, nnd it is time that all these and other anomalies should coaso. The religious idea of its character must give way. Marriage will have to be thoroughly reconstructed on the basis of a civil partnership, terminable at will or from breach of contract, as in other associations. Even tim > partnerships, to lapse at the end >i a term, say seven or any other nu nber of years to be agreed upon, wou'.d bo better than the haphazard, system now in vogue. "Jiese, if agreeable, could be renewed or continued at the will of both. .Is Mr Laboucliere has just said in Jie Houso of Commons, the Law o 4 ! Divorce is utterly absurd. 'lf two people,' he added, ' wauted to be .Harried, lot them be married, — an'l if they wanted to bo divorced, lot aiem bo divorced.' Although theso opinions wero greeted with much laughter by the House, as though (hey were excessively funny, tlioy are nevertheless correct, and domestic happiness will never be universal until they be received as serious truths. Should there be children of those separated, it would be a simple matter to compel parents to set aside a sum for their support in a ratio according to the individual property of each. This would put an end to the filthy accounts of divorce suits which pollute our daily papers, and which obtain ready admittance into families where a serious essay on manners and morals is too often excluded because it contains a little necessary plain speaking,—as though omelettes could bo expected without breaking eggs. If people could divorce themselves at will and without publicity, they would bo as carof I to presarve each other's esteem after, as tlioy were before marriage. We should theu seldom seo what so frequently happens now ; the charming, neat, obliging fiancee, developing iuto the giddy, careless, slatternly, and disobliging wife, or the ardent and devoted lover cooling down into the neglectful and heartless husband. Those truly married would continue to do all they could'to please each other ; and those superficially united would practise the outward decencies of married life from mutual and self interests. Marriage would cease to be tho grave of love, and the sum total of human happiness would be immensely increased. Possession during good behaviour is far better'for our weak human nature than possession absolute. In the State of Illinois, where divorco is as easy as possible, >jnly ono couple in seven resort to it, including strangers who visit lliero for the purpose, so that of tlie inhabitants, perhaps not more than ono in fourteen couples, or one person in twenty-eight, desire to break through the marriage bond. The nature of marriage would bo elevated by bringing it as nearly as possible to a condition of mutual satisfaction. Morality would bo increased through it. All that ar required to effect theso ends are : equal conditions of partnership, civil contract, and easy