Wit and Humour

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XXV, Issue 124, 11 May 1935, Page 15

Wit and Humour

Judge: “You say you stole because you were hungry Then why did you take money as well as food!” Accused: “To pay for my defence.” —“Humor Holite.” London.

“It must be five years since I last saw you." “I haven't seen you for longer than that." —“Moustique,” Churlerio.

“How did you get to know your wife!” “I married her.” —“Holite Humor,” London.

“Why put the big clock beside the door!” “We call that the ‘visitors’ clock’.” Why ‘visitors’ clock’?” “It will not go.” —"Stuttgarter Illustrierte," Stuttgart.

"I wish I were two little puppy dogs —then I could play by myself." —“Humor Holite,” London.

Judge; “I think we have met before, my friend!” Accused: “Rather —how is the wife, old sport!” —"Lustige Kolner Zeitung," Cotogue.

“Your caricatures of mothers-in v re funny, but not topical” “Not topical They are to me. I ave been married two months.” —“Moustique." Charier

Mistress: “After the way you have treated me I don’t know how you have the audacity to ask for a reference" Maid: “I don’t want to use it. I thought it would be a bit of a curios y to keep.” —“Humor Holite," London.

First Tramp: “They say a hot both relieves the rheumatism.” Second Tramp: “Yes, but supposin’ you took the risk an’ it didn’t!" —“Dublin Opinion.”

Mummy: “Bobby, will you sleep in your cot or in governess’s room while I am away!” Bobby: “Don’t know—what would you do, dad!” —“Humor Holite,” London.

Dad: “Why are you crying son!” Son: “I heard you say you were going to have a new baby, and I suppose that means I shall be taken in part exchange.” —“Humor Holite,” London.

THE SHORT-SIGHTED RADIO SINGER —“Illustrierte Blatt,” Frankfurt.