Joke Competition

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XX, Issue 197, 9 August 1930, Page 15

Joke Competition

SENIORS. Villager: “Caught anything?” Weary Angler; “No.” Villager: “Thought you wouldn’t. That pond wasn t there yesterday.” —Prize of 1/- to ,Joy Warren, age 11 years. 814 Ellison Rd., Hastings.

Wiremu had left his shack for a few minutes and when he returned he found that three pounds of butter he had left on the table had disappeared. A hungry looking cat was moving in the offing. Wiremu pounced on the cat and with iudicial mind, plumped him in a sugar sack and tested its weight on the camp scales. The sack registered exactly three pounds. “Py korry!” exclaimed Wiremu, “t’ere’s te putter orright—but where te prages is te cat?” —Red Certificate to William Howard, age 13 vears, 210 Eastbourne St., Hastings.

Billie: “I say Daddy, I don’t sit on the dunce’s seat at school now.” Daddy: “I am glad to hear that, Billie. Here’s a shilling for you. Now, how did you come to be moved?” Billie: “Well—er—you see it is being painted.” —Orange Certificate to Phyllis Day. age 12 years, Francis St., Hastings.

A mother was trying to get her little son to go to bed. “Run along, Willie,” she said, “and get into your bed. The little chickens have all gone to bed.” “Yes, mother, I know,” said the little tot, “but the old hen went to bed with ’eml" _ —Orange Certificate to Nellie Walker, age 12 years, Post Office, Clive.

Yankee: “In America when we go fishing we just throw our lines in and ns soon as it hits the water a fish grabs it.” New Zealander: “That’s nothing. In New Zealand we have to go behind a tree to put the bait on.” —Orange Certificate to David Taylor, age 11 years, 304 Jcrvois St., Hastings.

JUNIORS. Lady "Are you sure this umbrella handle is real ivory?”

Salesman: “Well, it's made of elephant tusks but with modern progress I can’t guarantee that some elephants haven’t got false tusks.” —Orange Certificate to Marie Robins, age 9 vears. 403 Collinge Rd.. Hastings.

A man had a donkey for sale, so upon hearing that a friend in a neighbouring town wished to buy one, he sent a card as follows :— “My dear Richard,—lf you want to buy a donkev—a really good one —don’t forget me.—Yours. William.” —Orange Certificate to Jim Kissock, age 12 years. Hastings Rd., Havelock North.