Joke Competition

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XVII, 1 October 1927, Page 14

Joke Competition

JUNIORS. A woman was once brought before a judge, who asked her name. “Angel,” replied the woman, “Where did you come from?” “Heaven.” “Well, how did you get here?” “Slid down a rainbow.” “Take fourteen days for skylarking.” —Prize of 1/- to Raymond Laws, age 9 years 503 Miller street, Hastings. Farmer: “Have all the cows been milked?” Dairymaid: “All but the American one.” , „ . Farmer: “Which do you call the American one?” Dairymaid: “The one that b gone dry.” —Orange Certificate to Mavis McKeown. age 10 years, R.D., Mangateretere, Hastings. Doctor: “Never wake the patient. The sudden shock might be mad for him.” . Irish Nurse: Shure, Oi nicer do, doctor. Oi just shake and pinch him till he wakes himself.” Orange Certificate to Iris Spence, age 9 years, 910 Oliphant road, Hastings “Be careful! There’s a deep swamp on the right.” “Don’t worry, we've got mudguards.” —Orange Certificate to Glen Ross, age 9 years. Lower Te Mata road, Havelock North. SENIORS. A Scotchman was to be married so g he went to the minister to make necessary arrangements. He asked the minister to perform the ceremony in the poultry yard. “Why?’’ asked the officiating minister. “Because,” said the Scotchman, “the rice will feed the hens.” —Red Certificate to Mollie Wells, age 12 years. 307 S Nelson street, Hastings. The greengrocer was standing at his shop door when a lady came along to buy some gooseberries. She looked at the fruit and then turned to the grocer: “Those gooseberries look rather dirty, don't you think?” she said. “Well, madam,” he said, “you can’t expect me to wash their faces and part their hair in the middle for fourpence a pound, can you?” —Orange Certificate to Mollie Hull, age 11 years. Box 76. Hastings. Rag and Bone Man : “Any old rags or bones?” Child (who has been instructed how to deal with street vendors): “No thank you, Mother's got plenty.” —Orange Certificate to Robert Stead, age 11 years, SHE Lyndon road, Hastings. Girl: “They sav that when you drop a spoon a lady comes, and when you drop a knife a man comes. I wonder what comes after you drop a plate?” Bov: “Oh. that’s easy—a caning.’’ —Orange Certificate to Mary J. Harrison, age 13 years 708 Fitzroy Avenue, Hastings.