Rippling Rhymes

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume XIII, Issue 285, 17 November 1923, Page 11

Rippling Rhymes

Medical Help. , There are so many kinds of docs, I scarcely know what' to do, when fell disease my system rocks, the rheumatiz or flu, the measles or the chickenpox, and I am sad and blue. One doctor feeds us hefty pills that have a mothball taste, liquid medicine he spills inside one’s bulging waist; his potion either cures or kills and docs the trick in haste. Another laughs at pills and dope in loud and strident tones; he says when sick our only hope is kneading of the bones; he is a man of breath and scope and vise-like hands he owns. One doctor is a crank on air. fresh air, ■ he says, will heal; for spavined limbs or falling hair, fresh air and linseed ! meal; for any ailment, anywhere, ! ozone’s his endless spiel. “Suggestion,” says another doc, “will sound disease’s knell; if you have cylinders that knock, come, see me where I : dwell; I’ll spring suggestions in a flock and they will make vou well.” , Some doctors keep within theiir shacks ' sword, cleaver, saw and lance, and j when we’ve spasms in our backs and to , their wigwams prance, the'- want to I cleave us with an axe, collecting in advance. The doctors have so many schools I scarce know which to choose, when fever heats or ague cools my weary bones and thews; so many pills, so many tools, so many curlycues! Shearing Samson. We are informed that the so-called world’s strongest man appeared in court the other day begging protection from his wife. She only'weighed about 115 pounds, but the poor husband declared that she had a temper like a hornet and when she got peevish she would chase him all over the place and jab him with pins until he looked like a porcupine. Samson Broadbeard’s specialty is driving spikes into an oak plank with his bare fist, but when his wife gets after him with a hatpin he sobs for mercy or crawls under the house just like the rest of us. Every Samson has his Delilah and this one not only shears him to the buff, but takes his pay envelope away from him every Saturday night. The world’s strongest man is a mere wisp of straw when he falls into the clutches of the world’s weakest woman.