HE MEANT WELL.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume II, Issue 288, 9 November 1912, Page 4 (Supplement)

HE MEANT WELL.

Bobby's father is no! " b-.-illirnt sort of man; it has been rsnid, in fact, th-,it ho err : decidedly in the other direction. H<> took Bobby the other day on a short visit- to se-o some friends, and, thinking to make a good impression’ i.'i started r. conversation. “I had quit-o.an adventure the ijthwr evening, he said. “At tho corner adark street a man suddenly r-prang'Wt on mo and said that if T did nt’ give him my watch ho’d knock my brains out. Fortunately, a policeman came along, and tho man took io his heel?.” “And weren’t you afraid?” naked his hostess. “Afraid?” echoed Bohbv'o •napn modestly. '‘Well, T hope not.”' “But,” went on tho lady, “if he had carried hi.-> threat?” “Well,” answered the visitor, “if he had ” And then the loyal little Bobby struck in : “J’ll bet thero’s nobody who con’d knock any brains out of father!” he said proudly.

HE TI'RXEP AGAIN.

Naturally. they were married, for she ordered him about in a most imperious way. The longest lane has its turning, however, and one day, after n particularly violent outbreak on the pari of the ladv. the husband attempted to <cduco the woman’rt rights in his own household.

"])o you think you rule the universt'?" ha inquired sarcastically, when tho moment eame for him to edge in <t word.

“ Xo,” camo the prompt reply, “T d<» not. But 1 rule the first letter of it!” And once again the mere man realised that he was indeed the under dog. LITTLE WILLTeTaGAIX. , Willie had tried by various means tt» interest his father in conversation. “Can’t you see I’m trying to read?” said the exasperated parent. “-Now, don’t bother me!”

Willits was silent for almost a minute. Then, reflectively:—

“Awful accident in the Tram to-day’” Father looked up with inteTest. “AVhe.t’s that?” he asked. “Ab accident in the Tram?”

“Yes,” replied Willie, tb'senrds the door; “n woman had her eye tfn a seat and a man sat on it."

TOO TRIE. ‘ T feel awfully rotten this morning.’’ said a spendthrift to his dissipated 1 companions. “ Before I came out my 'wife asked me. for a ten-pound note, and T ent. the matter short by telling her that it could not be done, for the simple reason that I had only a matter of five bob o,' so in my pocket.

'■ ‘I knew you’<l say that,’ <she said ; ‘and it's true, too.’

“Ar; T looked up in amazement she added, ‘I looked in your pockets fast night, and I’ve got the ten-pound note!' ’’

JUST LIKE A WOMAN. Ho was the hanpv father of a very pretty arid bright, little girl of twelve. “ Dad,” she said to him one evening, v-hilo ho was reading the paper, "every morning when I anf going to school the bovs catch hold of me and kiss me.”

“But, Ktliel,” he said. “why don’t yon run away from them?”

'“'Welt. <lad. if T did, perhaps they wouldn’t chaso me.’’

Ho went on reading.

HE RAISED THEM. A man was arraigned in court on a burglary charge, and in his loot was, curiously enough, a horse and a tablecloth. , ■‘lf you didn’t steal these things, how on, earth did you get them?” asked tho judge. “Why, I raided that horse from a colt," protested tho prisoner. “And tho tablecloth?” asked the judge. " 1 raised that tablecloth from a mere n.wkin ; " camo tho ready reply. HE PET HER A-THINKIN’. Pat wi a bashful lover, and Biddy mi eov. but not too for. “Biddy,’’ Pat hegnn timidl'y, “did yer iver think of marryin’?’’ Sure, ii':'- th’ siduort Ims tiiver innl<’ thoughts.’’ demurely replied “It’s sorry Di am,” said Pat, turning p.wav. “ \Van ndnnte. Pat!” called Biddy, softly “Yo'vi* sot mo a-thinkin’.” A RESOrRCEFTL WIFE. A woP-knowi omtor whoso name is withhold by request. awoke ono s:-'” rc-oontly and found his wife, sKnjiding in the. mjdd’n of tl-o £w going through . -.-rfv-keti of h’< ; trousers. ‘•WI-.v. 't'-’i-n,” lie said, “what- are mu doing?’’ Pho was rar mit'di. OT”i-<ir”n«wd T.Tr- ” --bo rcnliod, “I—-T thought I heard a burglar, dear, npA I -I’m l>o o > t looking in your pockets for a—a- polio,o- “ AVI: a I makes that follow s» popu- “ He'll l ; -ton to n fnnny cforr without insisting on telling another.’’