HOW CLERGYMEN ARE SWINDLED.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume II, Issue 288, 9 November 1912, Page 1 (Supplement)

HOW CLERGYMEN ARE SWINDLED.

CUNNING TRAPS INIU WHICH THE UNWAR'I LLERIU PALLS.

(By the Iler. i’luOps. Author of " Cassock and Uomtdy, etc., etc.)

i celebrate 1 judge once sai l to me : " 'rhe clcrgv ae easily swindled. It is because they deal wit:i human nature as it ought to instead of looking at it as it .o’" Undoubtedly the civrgvtnan is considered the .egitimate prey of a large and, it would appear, mc-reising <■!-« if mendicants. A favourite trick is this. A woman, generally dressed in deep mourning, will apj-iar in the vestry after a service, and say she has put raii-a-sover-eign in the plate instead of sixpence; that she is a "poor widow who is taking a week-end holiday, etc. She exhibits n purse containing; a sixpence, aceomKv a vC’hcment Ucclarati in that when *he entered the church the same MfeuKirso contained a hnlf-eovereign as A ready sympathy with widows the handing over of the piece Kif gold. When the selfsame widow ■practices this trick in two churches upon *>na Sunday be’, >ng.ng to the same vicar he begins to be suspicious. TOOK TO FLIGHT. On one occasion a woman appeared m the vertry and peremptorily demanded a sovereign back, whten she alleged she had put into the offertory instead of a fhiihng. She placed the shilling on the table, and held out her hand for the sovereign. “ Where were you sitting? 1 mo Hired. She was quite ready with her answer. I asked the churchwarden to examine the contents of the bag in which had bi?€H collected the xilins in th<*t part ot the church. There was no sovereign. “ It must- be m one of the other fia?s<’ she said, with great self-posses-sion, but her ►•y<t> sought nine a l:ti e anxiously. ~, “Will you leave your address r I Without a word, she turned on her heel, tossed hei head, and walked out; but the walk became a flight, and 1 -was told she ran out of the porch. THE OLD ORDER CHANGETH. Every day you have someone who has lost his father or mother, child, or railway ticket, who wishes to borrow money for the funeral or the journey. Then you have t.,e regular caller who is “ looking for work.” lheee are quite ordinary eases, and the deaconess whose special work in the parish is to look after the sick and poor tells me that 1 swindled three times out of live: but it used to be four times in five, so 1 take courage. And 1 would rather be swindled half a dozen times than miss a genuine case of distress. But in swindling clergy new methods have to be invented. The latest is a work of genius. A well-dressed mu. with a frank, careless air, calls upoi vou. His card is correct in style and finish, and he spins a yarn about a lelative who " loved the church and Finish,” who is now lead and yo ir v.sit- r would wish to place a memoria of t,ie deceased in the bui.Ging where lie v.< rshipped. One man dined wth ■> v. lunched with me, borrowed fi » n uw, then took a turn at dining, lunching with, and borrowing Hom my fr.ends during the fortnight he disc i >s d with me a fitting memorial to his great uncle. He could not mate up h;s rrrid whether to build a new church, restoic the old, or build .ilmsnoiiscs for the -poor. So he dined, lunched, and borrowed —this time at lhe- «-xj-.ei« el .architects and builders. Then <>ne day be disappeared. AN ARGUMENT IHAf C-TVJS Then you have the “ crook ” whj enters your house noisily, seizes your hand in a vice-like grin .>1 hear;.- greeting, then falls back with t r ag c reccil. and exclaims: “ Why, • d p- I 1 don t believe you remember mi!' When you assure nun iliac bo is ■,>. to correct he breaks down c->t> pletely. Sometimes he sobs: ' Io th:n*: that my old ’varsity chum ha-, forgotten me,” or tnaybe it is Ins " old sehooi friend” —freouently “ his friend of yore.” A nr»n eaamot remember ail Ms college and school acquaintances, and the request for a sovereign or half -i--crown is generally conceded. It is an eMiv matter for a man to Kill at the pufilic library, and find oat any -.-terse - man’s school and college. Then you have the religious impostor who wishes you to ” reclaim him." These men first of all give you an astonishing list of tieir sins, cone- ivo-1 lurid language. Sometimes my friends sa_. . A not make a rule never to lie'.:-..- My reply is: “It is easy to make «■■•.’:on -c rules. It ks difficult to k ce-« r>: m :r tho f:*ro of hunger and misery. “Answers. "