WHEN THE COURT LAUGHS

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume II, Issue 288, 9 November 1912, Page 1 (Supplement)

WHEN THE COURT LAUGHS

BLUNDERS WHICH ENLIVEN THE LAW'S DULL ROUTINE.

“ The lawless science of the law,” like lighter studies, is not lacking in those •* howlers,’’ among its younger disciples, of which the schoolboy has no monopoly. It was a young articled clerk, doing his first “ interlocutory ” before a master, who, being risked where J tho “ venue- ’ —i.e. the place where the case was fixed for hearing—was, replied, with ingenuous confusion, “ I think 1 must have left it on the office table.” It was an equally raw “ liar pup to wit-, pupil—who, about his first day of “ reading in chambers,” received from his m-entor the very sound advice that in settling a “defence,” the draftsman should deny every material allegation in the Statement of Claim. Presently in came some “ instructions to settle defence.” The papers were turned over to the novice. WHOLESALE DENIALS. Paragraph one of the Statement of Claim ran, “ The plaintiff is a gentleman. etc.”.: paragraph two set out that the plaintiff’s log had been broken by the negligence of the dcfendatH'. The defence was in this wise: 1. Tho defendant denies that the plaintiff .is a gentleman. 2. The defendant further denies that the said leg is the leg of the plaintiff. But sheer ignorance is at times more formidable than the most exact learning. Tn a small solicitor’s office, the managing clerk being away, .the -common law department was so short-hand-ed that the partner in charge had to ask the office-boy to help to the best of his ability with some of the correspondence. “ .lust write to Mr. Owen and tell him he must pay by return, or we take proceedings on our clients’ behalf.” “ Very good, sir,” said the boy, with becoming humility. And he wrote: “ Sir, —Unless this account is settled by return, we shall take steps which will amaze you.” Mr. Plowden, a London magistrate, relates how the -ignorance of a young counsel saved a rascal his liberty. It -is a golden rule —to which there are exceptions—that the bad character and previous convictions of a prisoner may not be proved against him. “ Gentlemen, I shall prove to you,” said our young orator, “ that the prisoner is a menace to society. He has been convicted no fewer than times ” Hero he was about to read out the list. “ You must not say that,” gasped the judge. “ But here they are in black and white!” said the irrepressible one, brandishing the list before the Court. “ Here they are! ” WHEN THE JUDGE PAID. The judge stopped the case, and directed an acquittal. When, put right by the Court, it is as well to put a good face on it, and in this the sons of Erin are charactertisticaliy happy. The Court detected a well-known Irishman in a blunder, and corrected him. “Your lordship is right, and I am wrong, as your lordship generally is,” was the somewhat equivocal apology. Howlers are occasionally contributed by the Bench itself, and on two occasions in recent times judges have been writted for ordering the wrong persons into custody. A late judge was so incensed against a publican, -who appeared to have supplied the prisoner with liquor on the “night in question,” that he ordered the men in blue to put him in the dock as well. But the mistake cost his lordship a sum of three figures to set right, for the law is no respecter of persons.