70 MINUTES AT SEA.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume II, Issue 187, 23 July 1912, Page 2

70 MINUTES AT SEA.

BEING MEDITATIONS ON A CHANNEL CROSSING. (lly Percival Phil l i! is'j 11.19. j The sea is green and full of hign i places. 1 do not like the look of il. 1 ! suppose that since I have come thia i far. 1 must go through with it. I : v. i,h. ikough, that Belgian Socialists would postpone their rioting unt’l ' the Channel has been readjusted. I 1 feel that i am going to be un:happ;.. I A lot of other people arc going to 1.-e unhappy. What dismal procession is this emerging from my I boat-train — a hunched and twenty I figures in rough tweeds, laden i:ke I pr>ck heises—fat men made angular j by cameras, knapsacks, field-glasses, i and inhi-r ponderous kit ? Tl.at ■ CaiK'ti Horsley’s party for Switz :- [ la;.a. Yes. they look depr.. sseU. j They are going by way of Ostend, i That means three* houis of grec.i | bci. No wonder the clerical gentlemen land their wives gaze longingly at our j turbine. Ours is u sc-, enty-minuin ! trial of endurance. | Bride and Bridegroom. j Anyv, ay. the bride and bridegioc.n i are travelling with us. Here they | come fl ipping down the gang-plank jin their old clothes. The dear I things 1 They held hands all the way > from Charing Cross. Not more than | ten semen on board know thai she lis honeymooning. The bride is sayi ing she is glad that she did not msiil on going to Torq uay. She just loves those funny waves with the whi.e| M-yes. ; Here we go. j ■ 11.20. | 1 i Wo I That was a good one I > Smack I Just* as we cleared the; breakwater. Some people like it. j Especially the little bride said, “Oh. Fred I” M-yes. Wait awhile. The | red-faced colonel is talking about the! south-east monsoon. Say& the worst I experience he ever had was in the • old Jumna two days east of Aden. J when it was— ! Oh, no matter. Here is an elderly lady on my right who wants tu ' know whether ii-i-bk'ies are safe. She is n clergyman’s widow, and she has read about the Titanic. Did I think) we have enough lifeboats on board;: I do noi know, but I feel sure that' within fifteen minutes she will not want to be saved under any circum- < stances ! That was another nasty 6ic A strange calm sems to be settling ovet us. Less conversation is being handed about. The small American child i is no longer trying to carve fathei s initials on the door of the roval i cabin. His uneasy mother las sent ■ for two basins, they should be of I silver. »She is from Chicago and very haughty. Father would like to! buy the Channel, anti fill it up. i A Humorist. i A person has just said : “Let’s get the tickets, Bill, before anyone is dead to the world.” - If we have to take to the boats I promise to deal with this man mvself. 11.35. Old George has edged alongside me as usual. The whiskered old sinner. Presently he will point out the Goodwin lightship. Then, after a; discreet pause, he will describe Cape i lf encouraged he will talkabout our speed and pervious voy-! ages. The slightest interest in him’ costs sixpence. ' He i- now locking ,for the light-' ship. It is rather misty. If he misses it, bang goes sixpence. 11 think he is rathe'- won led. -No—: there it is i

K-r-r-nugh.' She fairly stood on her head that time. 1 wish people wcid l not groan in that dismal fashion. Y’es. George. I s.e that the metal box Las falien on its side. Dou'itlc.-s tiie tynewrite- has been smashed. TLat wir. 1 smile so merrily. I wi,h you would go nv. ay. GcorEe. No, thanks, no basin. I would meditate. 11.50. I now hear that the little br'tle wanted to go to Torquay after ail. At least, she is saying sb to someone whom she tails “big Lr=tte.” I no not know if it is her husband. I do not care to turn >ny Lt ml. He kr-i-ns asking her if there is anything in the world he can do for I.er. She keeps replying, ‘ No.” and a.-king L>'h to sro away and L ave her alone. AA'Lich he will not do. ■ The red-faced colonel is fading [ rapidly. Men with short neck- I should never attempt a r -uph Chan-: nel crossing. In the good old days : a barber-surgeon wouKl have hied i him. As it is.’the steward anchored i alongside him will try it. I

I wish the«e sailors would not stand about in such a careless way (tnd say that it looks Ike freshen- : ing.” That is not the way to become j popular. i 12.5. ! No death is too painful for a GerJ man who can eat ham sandwiches j amid such scenes of suffering. The American Child. ■ Ihe small American child is gasping and saying that he feels “jewt Hike the Lusitania.” One ranrapt. ; keep track of these strange American diseases. I am told that we. are well within Cape Grisnez. I have reason to believe that everything i else has been relinquished. Creatures bearing outward sembl- ; acre to men are trainping about and asking if luggage-porters are ■ wanted. The green-faced 'colonial has' - ] just strength enough to curse them. ! . 12 - 20 -' j Old George has just palmed off Calais lighthouse on a coqple from the provinces, who are Whmg their first trip abroad. He threw in the bathing machines on th£ saasfa. AU they gave him was twopence.. Gris- ! nez alone is worth more in this sea- | son—to strangers. I am not sorry, ■ though. George might let old friends alone. i I think 1 can just walk to that , Brussels train. Here is a hurgo j stone quay coming alongside . my - steamer chair. How solid it loblts 1 ! How splendid I : Yes. I should like a porter-Mfort-iin the dirt > blue blouse. You. ; twenty-fum. ici. Yes, I will lieye • the bags in the compartment, . As y.-.j say, it is a fine day .but yob £ct ; tiie usual fifty centimes just the same. Ido not charge for aim- ‘ shine. No, it was not a good erbss- ' ’ing. ‘ j The little b. ide appears to be sorry. ; that she was peevish. But how can j they held hands going down suhh a j narrow gang-plank ? i The pallid colonel hgt* beejn as£ed Jif he has a landing ticket. “Not if I i swallowed it, ' replies this brave <»ld i warrior. The veins in his neck look less dangerous. Ah, here is French soil Let iis to tiie buffet and wrestle with an iudia- ■ rubber chicken 1 '