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Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 288, 25 November 1911, Page 1 (Supplement)

Ho: “Think all women ought to swim—grand training for ’em. Makes ’em do one good thing, at any rate.’’ She: “What’s that, dear?” He: “Practice keeping their mouth.; Bbnke.. “That fellow Sharpleigh is the most insufferably conceited man f ever saw. What has he done to gain such a high opinion of himself?” Winks: “I believe he l once found a mistake in a newspaper.” Sir Ernest Shackleton said of a piece of geogralipieal ignorance:— “It was incredible. It reminded me of a little waiting-maid. As elm hrmight mo my tea and toast and bloater cw morning I tai'd to her;— “ ‘What, a rainy morning, Mary’ It is almost Pke the Flood.’ “ 'Tho Flood, sir?’ said the puzzled maid. “•Vos,’ said I- ‘The Flood-Noah, you know—-the Ark—Mount Ararat.’ She shook her head and murmnred. apologetically: “1 ain’t hud no time to !• :id iho papers lately, sir.”

Colonel falter severe lectur? to o oo:tnl<> of nien on the evils of gamhi lin"';- “Seven days’ eofinement to barI racks ’’ | Sorgean*- -Maier: “V.h it shall f ? i ; . ! with, this’ fournenci h; ifi.cnny whi'-h I was niv'-.e'l nn from the labia, sir?" i {'clone!: “Give them twopen-e eac.b. : on--! let them to's ii>i- the old ha!.i penny

i “What’s the matter. John?” I “Whv. ma'am, here’s a note from ' the master, in v-’v-h he tells me thoihe's off on a little holiday, and lio i wrt mi- to send his drawing materials i idong ” ; “Well r. id isn't that 'lain enough?’’ ! “Hardlv. urn’s-;;. L don't know | whether to semi his paint and brushes or a corkscrew.” i Pounder: “I took you home the 1 ' ther nioht.” Rounder- “Ye«. and then, you eow- : rd. von I. ft me to face my wife 1 alone.”