SOME LAUGHABLE LAWSUITS.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 271, 4 November 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

SOME LAUGHABLE LAWSUITS.

THE DEPRAVED PARROT THAT TAUGHT CHILDREN TO 6WEAR.

If a father suddenly finds ths lights Ijwered in tha room in which a young lever and hi* daughter are seated, i? lie justified in turning the young man out of doors and ending all discussion bv slapping the daughter? "That :> the question which Magistrate Mnegiure, of Brooklyn, was recently called upon to settle, because the mother of the daughter who had been slapped sued her husband in court to test his alleged rights to slap his daughter.

The case reminds one of the father-in-law v. ho. a short time ago in one ol E'-.glr-.nd’s 'Midland towns, brought an aciisn against his daughter’s husband to recover expenses incurred during the courtship, in tl:c way ol lighting and entertainment, the father-in-law asserting that there had been a private ar inr.gement between himself ,and the ycung mil that the latter should bear such expenses. And then there was the indy who. a few weeks ago, sued her daughter’s young man for 7s expended in ginger-beer and cal : .o during his visits, and the old lady who asked a London magistrate if she could not proceed against her son-in-law for damages for falsely representing himself to be a person of some mean*, marrying her daughter, and afterwards living on money ho forced her to give him.

WOEFUL WOOERS. Some of the grounds <m which breach of promise, cases are brought forward tire equally amusing. Ono young man, for instance, who had the pluck to bring a breach of promise case against a young woman who Tmd jilted him, wished to contend that by breaking off the engagement, which had lasted some time and was known to a largo number of people, his late sweetheart had seriously damaged his reputation. His argument, was that the blame for the rupture would fall on him. being the man. Another woeful wooer wished to recover damages for the loss of a certain social position which ho said he would have obtained had his lady-love not jilted him; but alas! the law supported the lady and the young man was still loft bemoaning his luck. Turning from these _ troubles in Hymen’s realms, one might mention, among other laughable trials, that of the Washington parrot, who was arrested on a charge of profanity four years ago. The complainants were neighbours of the owner of the parrot, and it was stated in evidence that the bird was such a depraved character that it was teaching the children in the neighbourhood to swear. It was further said that the parrot on Sundays sang popular «ongs as people were passing to church, ond when the policeman started to give evidence “Polly’’ gave an example of its slanging csnabilitics by shouting “Short up, Nosey!” Ultimately a compromise was arrive-1 at and the parrot removed for lessons in good behaviour. A MAGISTRATE WHO TRIED HIMSELF.

Perhaps one of the most extraordinaiy cases on record was that of a Japanese member of Parliament who in 15)03 was sentenced to fifteen days’ imprisonment and ordered to pay a fine of 10s. for yawning in Parliament. The Grown Prosecutor, who conducted the case against the prisoner, maintained that the defendant had yawned in order to annoy the Government. And what shall we say of Frank Courtright, magistrate of Winnipeg, who arraigned himself in his own court upon the charge of being drunk and disorderly, and dancing an Indian snake dance in a public thoroughfare? The magistrate took his seat and rapr.ed for order. Then he called: “Frank Courtright, stand up!” The magistrate stood up. Then he solemnly tried himself for being drunk and disorder!v, and fined himself £4 for it.

“But,” said Magistrate Courtright, addressing himself, “for twenty years you have heen a sober and respected citizen of tho community. In consideration of that twenty years of good conduct. I will remit the fine.” A burst oi applause.was sternly repressed by the usher, and the next case was called.