A Happy Solution

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 144, 3 June 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

A Happy Solution

SHORT STORY.

(BY

T.L.M.)

“Whv should 1,” exclaimed Mr. Abscom, "just because a number of other people have determined to do tlvn-s in a particular manner, be hound down io rules? I am a free man I shall hereafter do as I please. Unfortunately for Mr. Abscom, he was a married, man—which possibly made it all the harder for him to cany cut his individual programme—but he determined to keep it. . . • Hereafter.” he announced to his wife, on the first morning, I shall eat my meals as I please, and they shall consist of just what I please; moreover, I ■-hall not do mv resting as most people do ; but I shall evolve a schedule of iny own—one that shall serve my needs he Mi-s. Abscom, being a more or less iesi-ne:l woman, permitted him to <S i,-rv out I is idea without too much criticism, albeit inwardly she resented an T^it a, ivc : !it Mr. Abscom read until three o’clock in the morning. Hethen ate an apple and took a piece of bread and butter. . , , i.-.. Ho slept until 10 o clock. On his wav to the office he took a. cup of coffee. Ho was the only man sitting ax the restaurant counter when this hap|K“l will arrive at the office late every morning—or what you are pleased to consider late ” lie said to his head clerk, “and I will stay late. He worked on steadily until he was hungry, which was about three. Theii he went out and got a square neal- although he had to wait to have it cooked—anil rcturnwig, worked until nine. All the clerks went home at the usual time. Tha next morning Mr. Ab com anrounced to his wife that thenceforth ho would eat no meals sitting down at a table. “It’s a ridiculous custom, he assorted. “The animals don’t do it. ima dne a lot of -Jogs gathering solemnly every dav at noon around a long board. ‘I shall forage for mv own food eating Yvhen I plea;**?. I shall snatch a bite every no.v and then, so make no account of m? I need no one to wait upon me ” . After he had b?cn at this a week, trying experiments with himseli, Mr. Abscom awoke one morning to a new sensation. He d scovered that he xm looking at everything in a totally different manner from what he had done before. „ , . . One of his habits, for example, had been to read a morning paper. “Why should I read a paper at all ? he suddenly a“ked himself. “Why should I interest myself in news? What is nows anywav? It is only a record of the same bld things that happen over and over again. It is true that the setting varies slightly. Murders, for example, arc not all committed in the same manner but they are all due to ■i few motives. So with politics; once learr the motive behind them, and tho superficial details arc- unimportant.” Mr. Alisoom. therefore, cut oit the papers, and interested himself in literature. TJiis led to strange results. Instead of reading a book that was written hv a standard author, or a "lassie-such, for example, as Shake‘peare’s ‘‘Hamlet’’—he selected a book that he found on a second-hand book stand, and which nobody had ever heard of before. Mr. Abscom read it through and liked it so much that he read it through again. This was. of course, something unheard of, and Mr. Abscom thoroughly enjoyed the sensation. Then he read it a third time. At ihe end ef a month, it began to leak out that there was something queer about Mr. Abscom. The neighlicurs began to talk about him, and his wife referred to the matter rather apjiealingly. “Everybody thinks yotrvo gone crazv.” she expostulated mildly. “What of it?” said Abscom. “For the first tim i in my life 1 am' leading ii perfectly natural existence. I am actually thinking for myself, and working out a plan of life which pleases me !>-‘st. The majority of people have determined upon doing a certain thing in n certain manner, because on the whole this is perhaps the best way for the majority. 1 don’t dispute that. _ I Jim not quarrelling with the majority, which can do as it pleases. But why shouldn’t I think for myself and create un individual stardard of living which •s bettor for me individually than it is for a lot of people?” The next day Mr. Abscom went without nnv collar and cravat. In place of his ordinary sac suit, he had a garment made to order that, after considerable thought, was designed to give him the most comfort It was modelled somewhat after the Roman toga. He was followed to the railroad station by a crowri. In fact, the papers had got hold of his extraordinary story, end lie-was'rapidly becoming a notorious figure - but ns he did not read thorn, this did not disturb him. One day however, his chief clerk approached him with a solemn aspect, and said that his line of credit had bc’n refused by every' one of the houses they were formerly doing business with. “This means ruin.’ he said.

“I know it,” 'aid Abscom. “Naturk’lv thov distrust a man who has suddenlv thrown custom to the winds. Well, I am tir'd of this business anyway 1 have enough money to live on. I shall turn the place over to you.” Then he went home, drew up a statement of hi< affairs, discovered how ■nnch money he had. and divided it into four parts, one for him«elf. one for his wife, and one for each of his two rhi'dren. The next diy. accompanied by his attorney, he 1*3110(1 them all into the room with him. and formally gave them each a fourth of his property. ‘I shall want yon each to do exactlv ns you please,” 1 e said, “and for this purpose I am divkl'ng equally among you my whole fortune.” “But we are of mana ginit.” sobbed. Mrs. Abscom, "we havt. always done as others do, and we certainly ca.nrot make fools of o”-«elrcs as you are doing Why, I could get. you committed to an asylum just ns - asilv as not," sir' added. “Everybody chirks you arc c'azy.” Then she threw herself into his arms. “Don’t von see.” she said “that sou ar’ making ns all mis-'rahle. and have you a rigM to dn this? Considm-I Yon h ive obligations tn others.” “I know P.” ren’ind Mr Abscom firmly, “ami T am fulfilling them, am I not. lam giving you all that I possess, excent o-c-fourth. to do with as vow rl-'-se. What. then, is the trouble? No rne can arouse me of being immoral. Yon -a'lm-t. do vou not. that T ,.- methml of ratin" and sleeping is infinitely snp'rior to the one you have. T am not dependent upon anv servants. Solving that problem alone i- worth fdrmrt everything. I do not over-

burden my stomach; I waste but little time on the mere physical things, and thus relegate them where they belong. Is that not so?” . . “Yes. I suppose it is. . ‘ You admit that my new clothing is the oniv sensible garment. It is graceful, adjusted with the greatest possible ease, supremely comfortable, and very economical.’' “Yes.”

“Aside from the inconvenience you have been subjected to upon my account, vou must admit also, I think, tnat since I made this change I have been more interesting? Instead of absorbing a lot of manufactured opinions and ideas from other sources, I look at th? world fearlessly from my own standpoint—l face things, and thus I am acquiring a lot of original information. In short, is it not true that 1 have an individuality that 1 never had before?” “Oh, yes, that is true. ’ "\Ve love you more than ever,” piped up both children, who not being old enough to understand everything, were tremendously interested in what their father did. '‘Well, then,” slid Mr. Abscom, “what is the trouble? Why, it is simply this: The community will not permit any one of its members to depart from the standard that it has set for them as a whole, unless by so doing that member gives in return something that will compensate the community, •i whole, for the cost of his being different. For example, if I should produce a work of genius the community would immediately forgive me for what i*. is pleased to consider my eccentri-

cities.” “But as you haven’t produced any work of genius,” sobbed Mrs. Abscom, "and have only succeeded in convincing everybody that you are a fool, whav are yon going to do about it?” *T flvill ke.p right on, because 1 i eally couldn't do anything else. And this leads me to an original reflection." “What is that?” ‘ If I were another man —a drunkard, or a gambler, or possessed of one of those mean and savage nature:, which del’ghted in grinding his wife down—depriving her of money ana browbeating her in every possible way —if. in fact, I were any one of several kinds of the modern bnito husband—vou would cling to me like a porous plaster. But just because I am thinking and acting for myself and endeavouring to subvert the monotony of life by making invsclf interesting to you all and giving yon your independence. I make this prediction: You will all ieave me The pressure of conventionality will be too great. You can stand being cracllv treated so long as it fs customary. But you cannot stand being rationally treated, because it is unheard of.” Mrs. Abs.or». motioning the children, came over and they all threw their arms about him. “No,” she exclaimed. “We shall do nothing of the sort, no matter how p<*culiar you may become. Instead of this, we will give vp our residence n. New York, and go and live on the-out-skirts of Boston, where your shocking conduct will not be noticed.” “Which happy solution of what 1 thought wa« an un'olvable problem convinces >ne.” replied Abscom joyfully. “that you are quite worthy to bo the partner of such a perfectly unronventirnal person as myself.”—New York “Life ”