A DENTIST’S DILEMMA.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 109, 22 April 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

A DENTIST’S DILEMMA.

A TOOTH in the plate is worth two in the jaw. That is. if I make the pl.ite. 1 am a dentist- It ten't cs nceit that nr.-mpts me to make the above rti.uuk, 1 .un ni.u-ily repeating tire opinion cf hundred- of my patients. I am not only a good demist, but a prusproiis one. 'Twas not always thus, as th-.y say in stories. There was a time w hen I had to melt up my signetring to make gold fillings; another time when 1 had to puil the teeth of a gulden rvke through a gentleman’s said in a near-by town, thereby gett ng together enough money to come back ami hold the fort for three days | more. That wasn’t <m> long ago either. | And this is how it came about- that I fir-t .shook the faltering hand of Dams I I’rosp. rity. One day in June, two years ago, I found myself a sweet man graduate from a school in dentistry. I had learned t> fill t.-ecii backward and forward, with the hit hand as well as the right. I had mastered the principles of amalgam. I could pull a tooth as neatly as a stump-puller can operate a not. In other words, I was ready; I stood

It . with my s;:o -p-kin diploma in mv hand, a firm smile on my i’acn, the future all Ix’iore me, all knowledge or dentistry behind m*. The city being over- rowded with dentists offering to put a crown on a chimicv— neep for a dollar and titty cents in'thrty cent instalments: and other g nt! m’n offering painl. - - extractions jii t' th. in li"V. and oaths, I went to ti e country. Picking a nice little town of five thousand in Michigan. 1 hung out my shingle set up my chair, and then sat around in it waiting for businc

My .s : gn read:--DR. ROGERS. D.D.3. Hhin!cs.s Dentist.

It was quite right. F- was perfectly painle- : to tha btst of my knowledge I never experienced the slightest pain in pulling the most stublairn tooth in my practice. Bitt somehow the sign failed to work. It was l ; ke a last season’s fly-paper, didn’t catch a thing. Wi 11, wh?n I got diwn to the point where I had to think of filling my own tn >nth instood of snneone’s e'sc’s teeth, I began to <io s line v. ry serious figuring.

A thousand schcmvs presented th:m- . elv. s. I boiled them all down and finally nalts.d that I must- advertise. He who besitat x is list; he who ad•.ert s-s is sired. That was my motto. I w< nldn’t have anytlvng to do with ordinary m heme-. I di termin; d. Something « rigirta! was the thing I sought from the time I roa t-.d my egg over the * H th® morning until I turned out- the same jet at night. At last 1 hit on it. It was a great idea, big enough and new enough to make the greatest advertsing man in the laud turn pale, break his contract, and suggest that I fill bis ti e—l mean, suggest that I fill his place l . This was it: I had a bunch of neat billheads printed. They looked very nice, and the envelopes to match, with my name proudly adorning the upper loft-Imnd corner, made the whole thing look very attractive. Then I took the directory of my town, and went through it carefully, pick'ng out the names of the most prominent citizens. After that I wrote out a neat bill to taeh one. Something tils-- this: —

John Jon~s. Dr. to Dr. Rogers, D.D.S.

Fi r one gold filling 38.00 Oils' crown 5.00 Pulling root and killing nrrva 4.00 Cleaning teeth 2.00 ♦19.00

The first day I sent out twenty of throe bil’s to people I had never seen. Then I sat back to see what came of it. I exp.cted a great howl of rage when th se gentlemen received bills from me for services I had never rendered them.

Two days later I found right lett.<rs in my mail ; it was quite astounding. I opened six of them rapidly: each one e ntninul the bill I had sent out. and a little note front the gentleman to whom I had s nt it. "There nuiq !•** some mistake.” each suggested in al letter enclosd with the returned bill. The letters were very polite.

1 sat d .wn and answer*d them at once, explaining that the bill had been m :nu for siiiK.ine else in each case, and ending up something liko this: —

I am very s >rry that th s mistake has tcurnd. and 1 do hope you will not attribute it to carelessness in I bnsin -r, methi (k on my part. The fact is, I have b:.<n so ru-hed since my opening day in your city that I have had tn turn my bills over to a clerk, and the mistake was doubtless made by her some evening after she had spent a busy day taking in money and writing receipts for me. If yon will b* so good as to overlook this error. I shall be gratelnl to you. It you nt-nl any d ntal work done, eitlier you <r yronr family. I will ba pie ised to in-pcct any such ■ prosp etive w rk and make g oct terms to -lu-w vo l that I am s >riy to •••ve troubl’d yon. B ?i>ve nt.', at your siTvii", Vety sin erely. Dr. Rogers.

That was ra h r g od. I say, I sent out six <f th<*-e in answor right away. Th' n I op.-nerl th 1 : 1 r. in iii rig two lette:s and fi ".nd to my utmost surprise that on • < >rit,i-i:eJ a < hi -pi ■ : a cinque for six dollars and thr bill I had s nt out.

i If Trill! •' I was w-i. rso ti nipt-d in ." " life. H re cm my. s hetr.e ov-ei-i w thing it'i'h ; I hid nevr cx| t d ta.tt afiylu-dy W( :r|«l rc illy think he lowed the m .|»,-y. Well. i r gave mo a . grand • |tor:iin ;y. J put th- <ln quo tor .v.i.iy 11 ■ 111 igy itcli’lig tin ;o”< on ’ tile bok. <nt it!: '.<'•<■! its rry of -C.'l-’r* iw th a pajc'-a g';'. ;si.<| wrote a very lel 'gant not >to t > -gent leriim who h. d s- nt tho • Iwiiii rspi - that tlm 1 bill h d b e:i si nt !•> kiln le. mistake, and that I was rctiir--i.ig his clv-que ■ t.h r- with. Evidmtly .'-me of Lis family had h:d .<1 'Ttt.il v k d ne. and he tok mv bill , f,.~ sfir, K ;.u p. , n Well. say. tint was a grand idea «t "ime. all rg! t The vry 11 xt day ig’-rttl-m-’i! h "light « hildr.on of tnors fn t<> hive their th b-ivh ■no »id l:o and i>: J ;d> >im th - m siake in the Li! 1 , and it wa. all right ami everything, hut if I w-aild -ort of tike t • repay th .m f.-r ih-ir trouble 1 night make th. in a L-w price on tho w- i k ui d r e- ■: -i l- rat ion. i-11. maybe I didn't make I>w lit --. I <-l>irge«l at just ah mt rn.t. A k 1.-t ir I had savt'd en nigh j w-n<-y out of niv two patients t > send <>••• fifty m re ni<o little bills to gentle.m.u. I never Lad scon. Then for three , or tn- d 0 J was Lu-sy exp'aining the | • k-. .od mst. ks.

COMPLETE SHORT STORY. ’

That worked fine; by telling how sorry I was and offering to do the work cluaper for thorn to repay the trouble I had caused with my mistake, 1 managed to gather in seven new patients. That put me on the r-ad to Bellville. Every night I wont to the l>est- restaurant in town and filled a certain cavity f< r myself. Oh, it's nice to be üblt> to eat and pay for it, and to drop on one’s languorous pillow of nights and dream of angels fildng your p.-ckets with eighteen carat gold. At the end. of the first month I showed sixty dollars actual profit and I bad two or three patients coming to me.

Then T gix-w bold, and rent cut a hundred bills. nothing like ks ep ng after a go, d thing. I became mere adroit in writing my replies, every letter of explanation breathed the spirit, of g, nerosity: 1 even became told enough to quote actual prices, bargain prices fir work, m these letters.

'lliis batch brought me s me pa I irons right at the start, and 1 was going (iri.iiiKl mentally pric.ng automobiles and snapping my fingers in the face of the town banker when something happened.

Something always happens. Did you ever notice th it? When you are swimming along, snallow u.g great- draughts oi success and diting into the p-ol <>i ii-i turn , you always crack yctir head on a r-xk >r swallow too much of the waters of ]'.'osperity, and then you have to he dragged up and rolled cn a barrel. Well, right ir. the midst- c-f all this mrntal coupcn-cutiing came the thtuiderb -It fr< in the- clear sky. It wao on a Tuesday morning —oil, well do 1 leniember that Tuesday in September. That sounds more l like poetry now than it did then. I was di v. n at my office curly. It was just after 1 had sent out the batch of ona liunar- d letters.

I put on my nice white coat, lighten my little aholiol lamp, set the water running in the basin attached to my chair, and got out some of my choicest crills. Tilts would be a big day, ot that 1 was sure. While 1 wa-s f'.ohng with a set or false teeth I was mviid'iig for a vegetarian, 1 heard the front door bang oj<en.

"Ah, th.i early worm!” I cried to myself, jumping to my feet and rushing to the reception-room with a warm smile of welcotn-o on my features, and my hand outstretched to take the ir i >nciy. 1 stepped back to avoid being knockeel over by a very irate gentleman and his buxom wife. I had never scan tho man before, and f never hopi d to see him again. He had a heavy, fierce moustache for eyebrows, and his nose curled up like Napoleon’s on tho battlefield. There wa>< red blood in his eye, and a white paper in Iris hand. ’’Why, how do you do? Tooth trouble you?” I asked i;< my most s-licitous tone.

■‘N->, but I’ll trouble you to make good, young man." he howled like a qm.rtel fr< m tlie best Roman mob you ever saw. “No trouble at all, I assure you,” T answered with a profound bow. “I can make anything good, from a decayled tooth to broken enamel. Now if you will jn t walk into my work-room I will investigate the tooth that is driving yon wild ; I would suggest that if I put ju.ss a touch of aconite and iodine m the cavity, you will have imn. diate ri lvf. then I can put a little burning eolation on your gums and you will never more lie troubled by the softmss of them, and you will note to your great surprise that the solution will absolutely d'ssolve all the tartar and calm the troubled state of your mind. Just step in, please." "Very pretty speech," he sneered'. “ But I’ll trouble you to make good. My wife will trouble you to make good, also. You can't think you can impose on her just because -she is a lady." I turned and looked at his wife; I had never s.cn her in my life before, either. "Oh, your wife is troubled with a pit in one of hc<r cuspids,, or is it the wisdom tooth that i.s ” " You'd do well if you had more wisdom teeth," the gentleman barked, waving the white paper before my eyes. “■What have you lifrere?’’ I asked curinii-Jy. "Is it your papers of commitm uit to the insane asylum, or " “N<-w. young man," the overbearing gentleman broke in. catching me by the shoulder and thrusting the paper beneath my n<s?, "don’t titink you can come anything on me. Why, you act as though you never saw me before, or my wife either.” “Why, I never did." I answered. “Thill how decs it happen you prem* wiiii this bill for tho frightful work you have done on my wife’s teeth?"

1 quailed and glanced at the bill ; it was one of the last batch of the hundixd. 1 saw the figure, nineteen dollare, “for dental services in full.” "You are the m< st impudent man I ever saw.’ went on the heavv cyebrow- • n gentleman, taking back the bill and th ’-list: ng it "iroi’iilly into his eoatpsck’t. "I demand satisfaction/' "What is it you want mo to do?” 1 a deed, a go d deal unnerved by the s ght i f my bill and the consequt-nccw al.i’ h so m, <1 air ut to ho visited on my 1 lanr fnl In ad. "1 want you to go over your work cn mv wif-’V troth and fix them up (.iKiuliv. I want vou to put in new bri’ige-w. k. The work you did is riiam !’S.. .Just go in there and c-xain n * mv wife's mouth. Your bridges broken d >wn already, and your cri wns must have been made or bras ."

, I ‘'Oh. I breath <l. for now I began ' t" 'ird. <i.d,md. i i T-iis g nth. man was sharper thr.n T. H<- bid outnitt.s! n:- ; In- was fighting ■ mew th my ow n weapons. ] "would . i have, t i n:;.k. good. Evidently his wife bin vii-t ,tni'. <1 bv s >llll pa r d, 1;. ’ tist. and when 1 he man received my aril< rt ■ mg bdl fie s.m ail opportunity ! -• s<>m. thing for nothing Ho = w,mid « all my bluff on that bill 1 h vl ' 6» nt .rm. Ih would make me du ove.- ' tin- p »r wot k of the- other man. I I .|ii:::l<<] v. :th the th ’light of it. He 11..:d •:>»• light. 1 couldn't protest, at j r> ‘*- 1 *1 h hi to do the work. I 1 r.'th r .ipj < i.-,:..! i_h-i. < I -vern' -.s in ’.'king advantige of the bill I had sent ; him. 1 •'Ar- y >u g. ing to do th- right ‘ tlvng and ittinish the nineteen dollars’ |w uh -.I w< rk y, nr bill calls for?" he demand'd. "My w.f« is n t satisfiol v. ;th what vou liavo already done. T am nt s.itjsued. It is an outrage, and it’ up o> y. r. v> in ke g cd." *■ (krta’idy. I sbali 1> ; . pleased ta finish yhp work. I am .sorry it was n »t wholly satisfactory,’’ I answered with a bow. He h.ol inc dead to right®. I couldn't let this story gtL out.. I wouldn't

want all this bill advertising of mine revealed to the public. “I atn sorry vou didn’t like my work. If you had told me when I finished it I would not have -.ent in the bill until all was as it should be,” I added. “All right. All 1 want you to do is te mike good," he answered. So I led his wife to the chair and examined her teeth. The sight neatly gave mo heart failure. It was the rm :-t complicated job I ever saw in my life. She had had a great deal of work done on her teeth, and the last job, the bridging of five teeth together on each side of her lower jaw, had been wreteho-.Hy botched. It would cost me nearlv a hundred dollars in labour and material to put the thing right. "I’m s pry." I said, looking up at the man boldlv. "but the work looks ill right to me. I refuse to make any eliangos at all. As to your paying the

H-s cut me off with : — “Th in I’ll sue vou for malpractice.'' ‘Wlnre’s vour proof 7" I queried. For answer he pulkd out that nasty bill I had sent him, and flashed it before my face. ■•There’s the proof that you did the work. It will hold in any court.’’ 1 guip'd and looked weakly at my little cavity mirror. There was only eji' l wav cut of it- He had me. I eould never stand suit for malpractice-. It would ruin mv reputation for ever. "I—l guess 111 do the work over, I answered, swallowing hard. And I began at once, ripping out the flimsv bridge to take the impressions for one of mv own making. Well, that woman c.nne to the office nearlv cvcrv dav for two weeks. I woik <1 on her s caddy, mycr saying a word. It- rather rankled in my mind that I had been such a fool as to send cut those bills. I was f rirly caught. T had learned mv Little lt-.s\on. I didn’t care if I r, ver made another cent, 1 wouldn t rc-ort to freak advertising again.

This job wa>s ruining my business. Several times I had to turn peoplo away while I was doing a. two-hour stretch over my charity patient. ■Well, til-cup’ was s:>me satisfaction after all. I would get nineteen dollars cut < f the old gn uch, her husband. I was glad the b ; ll I happened to send him for services rend.ir-cd was so large. That would help pay for my materials, though my time ah ne already amountcel up to cighty-five dollars- on the one ji ib. Maybe yen think I didn’t work hard on that case. T did the. best I was capable ( • : T didn’t spare materials or lab iiir. It- wasn’t that I took so much pride in the thing, but his threat con-

ccrning malpractice echoed in my mind. I was almost ruined as it was. My sixty dollars clear profit from the month beforo all went in materials anti living expen- es while I was on this job of paying the fiddler for my folly. I couldn’t send out any incra bills. 1 was right up against it. Thank heaven, at la-t I had pol’shed eff the final rough edge of gold, and had ck-.und up with pumice-powder and r. bristle brush. If 1 d:> say it inysell, I never saw a prettier job. It was perfect. 1 was s:> fa-emated looking into that in’ nth I almost forgot how I had I ecu done mys: 11 by the job. Her husband camo to call for her and look at the work. I showed it to Him pio’.idly. He glared at it grump-

Oh. w-. 11, :l s not very good work.” ho said, "but 1 suppo-e it will have to ’* "ii culild have done niore.” i 1.. i u w.s gratitude for yon; aftor I d swe| it my very hie bleed on that h !li| d spent all niy profits from theiimnth b. i ire in making restitution f< r my f dlyl "You are .-ati-fitd with the job tlK’n." J a-ked, having a sinking fv.-l-mg as I fem.d he m’ght not pay me the n m-tr eii dollars.

Oh. it d d > all right; but you could . done Ix-tter," he answered again. . u 7!: * >» sorry you’re no t wholly ' piers <l, f said nervously. j Then I slipped my hand into mv breast-mwket. I had written out a > 1 culdn t charge any more; nineteen dollars, my bill read, and the job was worth a hundred and nineteen. ?-iv : h n ‘ s i b ', 1 « ent, -V in his hand.*. 1 . M i'll, wh.it’.s this?" he asked, 1, ok , ,n r a* t,;ou gh it 'lore a bomb. 1 hits your bill. f d.dn’t charts I nwa;» mor ?/ Or d , Oill = the work all over w I* r °? d J nineteen dollara. I > will be pleased tf you will pay me cash -

I have been under vetry heavy expenses —cr, just recently.” “Nineteen dollars? That’s a good deal,” he ea-’d slowly. “But that’s the price we agreed on when I did the work—er —the first time you know. If you will recall the finst bill I sent you, which you protested, you will . remember it read nineteen dollars.”

“Yes, that’s right," he answered. I stood awkwardly waiting for h m to count the nineteen dollars into my hand. He reached into his hip-pocket and tugged at a black leather pocketbook. Finally he got it out and my mouth watered as I noticed how fat it vis with currency. It fairly bulged. My hand trembled as he opened the pocket-book, and I saw a neat roll within. I hoped in his generosity he might give mo a twenty-dollar bill from the top and tell me to keep the change. "Nineteen dollars, you <said the bill was?’’ he asked. “ Yes.” “That's right.” He thumbed over the bills and finally came to the bottom of the stack. I’ulliug up a little flap in the bill-fold, he drew out a slip of folded paper. •Yes. a cheque w H dr,’’ T said with some disappointment, "but I would rather have the ca-h.” “What’s that?" he asked unfolding the white paper leisurely 1 repeated it. “Oh," ho eaid, almost forgetting himself and nearly smiling. “Tins ain’t a cheque. It’s the original bill you sent me - Oo you recognise it?” "Oh," I answered, "that’s all right. Just give me tho other and I’ll tear it up.’’ 1 tremblingly 'pu-hed a dollar bill toward him. “Here's a dollar. ’ 1 added. •’ Just g’-ve mo that twentydbllar bill on the top there and we’ro square. Thin I’ll receipt tho original bill you have in your hand.” “What for?" he asked >-harply. “S> you will have something to prove that you have paid for tho job.” “But I’ve got that already.” “Whit do you menu?” I cried, my eyes looming large in fear. "Why, there’s your receipted bill, that's what I was fishing in my wallet for. I paid that bill befc.re I made the k'ick ab.iut the poor job you did." Ho thirst it b lore my eyes. "See! There’s your signature, 'file bill reads, ‘lor dental services in full, 519.00.’ Right below here you signed it yourself, ‘Received Payment, Roger:.’ ” Groat heavens! Then I remembered. 1 had receipted about fifty of tho last hundred bills I sent cut. I thought it would be better to send receipted bills than unpaid ones, so no one would tempt me- by sending a cheque in payment, as the one fellow did, and so •nobody wr.uld ba mad, as some were, when they received an unpaid bill from mo.

My nineteen dollars was gone. My vii-ion blurred and my head swam, but I saw the old man chuckle as he tucked the receipt back into Ir’s wallet, strapped it and shoved it deep down into his hip-pocket with a look cf satisfaction.

Half an egg is better than none. I had Ind only half ait egg for breakfast that niii'ug. saving the yelk tor lu.ich and hoping to buy a’real dinner when I got the nineteen -dollars. Lack of nourishment or something made me heel ever, 1 guess I fainted; anyway, something seemed te> give way in my I rain when 1 came face to face with that receipted bill.

That isn’t the end to tho story. It might have been if I hadn’t been awakened from my faint by a bottle of chloroform thrown in my face by my h'dv patient and a bottle of alcohol added by her husband. Thc>n, realising what they’d done, they dragged me to the sink and laid my head gently in it, turning on beth faucets in their frenzy. They were really frightened.

When I came to, the man explained. He was editor of the county paper. He had received my bill just aft«r his wife had had the poor j’ob of dentistry done in a neighbouring town. He saw through my scheme, and took advantage of the chance it offered.

By threatening me with suit for malpractice he knew I would do my best work. He said lie was very well satisfied with the job, and made me a verv handsome offer. He pa ; d me fifty dollars in cash for my work, and gave me two hundred dollars’ worth of advertising space in his paper for nothing. “If you’re going to advertise, do it legitimately. We’ve got sixty-five hundred circulation, and that space I’m giving yen will pay you so well you’ll keep it always," he told me, with pardcnable pr.’de. M ell, ho was right. White his circulation was really only twelve hundred and fifty, his paper had many in. re readers, being handled around from family to family. I got ail the business there was, and the old skinflint told the joke on the side to a lot of his friends, I guess. But I didn t care much, fcr he must have added that the work was good, for lots of people came to have me do work for them (some from quite a long distance), explaining with a hidden smile that the editor had told them about me. It pays to advertise, there’s no doubt about that, but <l© the l job right. Don’t send out bills, like I did, or if volt must be so foolish as to do that, 'for heaven’s sake don’t reeept them.— Hai’indge D. I’yler, in the “Argoisv.”