AMERICAN HUMOUR.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 104, 15 April 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

AMERICAN HUMOUR.

A STPREME COURT FISH STORY. The late Justice Brewer was with a party of New Y’ork friends on a fishing tup in the Adirondacks. and around t.he camp fire one evening the talk naturally ran on big fish. When it came his turn the jurist began, uncertain as to how be was going to come oat: ,r We were fishing one time on tic* •7 rand Banks for—er—for ” •“Whales.” somebody suggested. “No.” ,«id the Justice, “we were baiting with whales.”—"Everybody’s Magazine.”

FAIR—YET FALSE

It was that which caught his fancy in the ballroom’s dreamy whirl ; not her eyes, her lips, her laughter, but her shining golden curl. And when first his love Im faltered, did he ask for hand or girl? Not a Lit. lie said he hungered just to press that tiny curl. Throb of music, breath of f’ow"s, mist o f tulle and gleam of pear’ came the Imide, a radiant vision—’mil her lace the st-aying curl. Koiw: could tell just, bow it hanm-imrl gust of wind or rice showers’ swirl; but —the carriage hid her blushes—on :he pavement lay that curl.

UNCLE JOE’S SPEECH

“This is the most com fort abl“ < Im. ‘r. Urcle Joe Won’t you take it?” Uncle Joe looked at his nephew w.i’i a suspicion of a glare. He was a (•*4'o.‘fnl. bluff old gentleman, who was making a vis;it in his nephew’s fami’v. and had just come in from a brisk walk in the country. Now he strod-' t? the fireplace and stood in front of t. w-'rm-ing l:is coat-tails. His niece was busy with some fa’joy-work near the window, and his nephew had just laid a ide fluafternoon paper. “Do sit down in the most cnmfoi’to.bl.-' chair,” urged the young woman w.lh the fancy-work.

“I prefer to stand up,” 'ait! Uncle Jo°. “Any objection?” “YY’hy no.” said his nephew. “Of ccur-e, if you wish to stand up ” “Your 'intentions.” said Un e Jce, “are good, but with your pe 'tin sum, I’m going to make a speech. There is such a thing as having too gma intent’ons” “What do you mean, uncle?” asked the voice from the window. “I’m sire wo want you to be perfectly eomfi.: tpble.”

“So I am,” said the old gent’v'mn, "but you forget that I am old en'tigh, and net vet too old, I hope, to judgs fcr myself.” _ “When I want to sit dpwn I know enough to sit down, and, as matter of fact, I consider some of rhe < ther chairs quite_as comfortable as tho one you are always compelling m* to sit down in. “YVhen I am at dinner I know when I have had enough to eat, and I don’t like to be told that I have a poor appetite if I don’t eat twice as much as anybody else. “When I go out to walk I arc still capable of deciding whether or not to wear rubbers. And when I stay in the house, it’s niy own fault if I sit- in a draught. “1 like this place, and I should like tc prolong this visit, several davs longer. That’s my speech,” finished the cld gentleman. There was a moment’s pause.

‘‘And a mighty good speech, too.” said the younger man, suddenly. “I hadn’t thought of it that way before, hut chasing people to make them comfortable is a rather oppressive kind of hospitality. S’t down in any old chair you like. Uncle Joseph, and I guess hereafter Maud and I will be able to

restrain our impulse to pick it for yon.”

“[ shouldn’t have menHonetl it.” said Uncle Joe. with a twinkle, “if I hadn’t been sure that such sensible young people would agree with me.”

INTERESTING DTSCOY’ERY' IN PRUSSIA.

An interesting discovery has recently been made at Wittenberg, in Saxon Prussia, which is of great interest to all Protestants. While repairing the weathercock of the town church. “Sehlosskirche,” the workmen found under the cross a metal ball, which bf.ey noticed would open. On examination jt was found to contain two documents One, dated 1530, is written by Martin Luther. Dtis consists of four pages, of which three are written by the hand of the great reformer, the fourth, bearing an attestation of the fact that Luther had written the document himself. The second document dated 1556, also of four pages, is written by Philip Melanchthon, the friend and disciple of Luther, the handwriting bearing the eharactfcristics of the ‘ Confession of Ansbork.” Both these manuscripts w-ill shortly be published. Both Luther and Melanchthon are buried in the Sehlosskirche.

CECIL RHODES’S AFRICAN DREAM.

Sir Lewis Mitchell, in his life of the Right Hon. Cecil J. Rhodes, recently published, tells one or two good stories of Rhodes’s pluck and ambitions. ; In the very first year of his entry into the political life of the Colonv. shortly after Majuba, when the ambitions of the young diamond digger must have been smarting under the reverses of that disastrous campaign, he said to a friend, placing his hand on the map of Africa : “That is mv dream—all English ” And a few years later, when Queen Victoria asked him. “And what are von doing in Africa, Mr. Rhodes?” he male the characteristic reply, “Extending Your Majesty’s dominions, madam.”

‘ THE GAME WORTH THE CANDLE.”

To a friend who questioned him as to how he had enjoyed the life “of which he had made such n big thing.” Rhodes replied: “Yes. I enjoved it. Oh, yes : it’s been worth the candle.” Then, with a grim smile, he added: “When I thought Kruger was going to hang Frank (his brother), and I was not veiy sere he mightn’t hang me. too. I didn’t like that. No- the great fault of lite is its shortness. Just as one is beginning to know the game, one has to ston.”

RO YA I, STATUES TN LONDON

The public statue of the late King tn be erected in London, is the first <’ommemoration’ of this kin 1 tv : Iviyrd Edward. There is a statue nt Edward VI. in one of the7?ourrs of St. Thomas’ Hospital, but this can Ivirdh be counted as a public memorial. i’wo of our late monarch’s namesakes— Edward I. and Edward TlL—well dcsi’i’re a monument: but. in common it itn most of our earlier K’iws, they have escaped suitable recognition. Boadicea and Richard f are the sole monarchs of pre-Stnart davs w’-ose statues are worthy of them Onlv tie other predecessors of Charles I. —nr three if Edward VI. lie included are represented : i.’ong ;be London statues. Henry T 111. stands over the m-’in entrance to St. Bartholomew’s Hospital, ami Elizabeth over the side entrance to St. Dun-stnn’s-in-the-AVest, both statues being unknown to the vast majority of Londoners.