THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 34, 23 January 1911, Page 7

THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELLER

A theatrical manager, who apparently writes from '“inside knowledge.” supplied a Johannesburg newspaper with the following: — He usually tied to a well-worn portmanteux containing a comb ami brush. a shirt, more than often a < ei.:::o.d co’lir and a pair of cuffs; also a railway time-table, and su-spicious-looking bottle wrapped in an old news>pai>er. This is about all the personal baggage ho carries, except- a Charles Bead? novel and a pocketknife with a corkscrew attachment. He always travels for tlio best bouse —the "largest firm in their line of business in the country, a firm that sells more goods, and sells them cheaper, than any two houses in the country. H« can talk on any subject. although, he may not knew mar h about it. and, in the majority of instan e->. ab. olutely nothing whatever ; but what Little he knows, be kti ws it. He may be airing inis view's on the financial policy of the British Go vein men t. or he nay bo t-toling you in his opinion what iu gm id for a void. but he will do it wi>tih an air and a tone that is beyond dispute. When Ito boards a train, if adone, he occupies two stats. One ho sits on and on the other he piles up his bag and overcoat, and tries to look as if tliey didn’t belong to him, but to another man who had just steplid into the dining ear and would be back directly.

Travcll'ers are usually found in pairs or quartets on the cars. Tiiiey .• it together in a double ®ea«t with,a rug over their knees, on wibieh they J play nap and other sinful games. VVhsu they get tired of playing they go out .into the dining ear, where a man who is travelling for “gargle” “sets ’em up” out of his sample case, and for an hour or two they exiliangd fabrications about th-o good business they have done in the last town and exiiibit to each other the I h.gegriMp’.js of the lest pretty girls tli-.-y liavt- impressed. He is a late bird for bed and .sleeps so s< uiidiy that the porter wakes up p;opic for many rooms di.-tant and . •.hahi-, the piaster off the wall in try- I ittg to communicate to him the fac t j that his train will leave in ten minutes. Without this distinguished per- t ‘.mi age. the w heel of commerce would j creep ever so slowly along, and not j Is? the “velocepide ” it is. j He is an energetic and congenial | ri:« and I hope he w ill appreciate ■ this not e*' and t.he fact that 1 have | suppressed an almost uncontrollable I impulse to say .something alxurt his J private life, knowing so bittie about ;

it myself. j A TRAVELLER’S BALANCE- ! SHEET. | Mil.s travelled ... ... ... 11,49 Number of trunks ... ... 2 i Shown ‘ •nip!* ■■■ ■■■ 100 Sold g.ud. 14 ; B e:i asked the news .... * ... 86 , ; 71 lhe news ... ... ... 3 . IA d 82 D.dn’t know ... ... ... _1 B, ?u •?.• k. 1 to drink’ ... ... 72 > Drank ... ... ... • 72 ■ ( hang d parities ... ... 17 j (hanged religion ... ... 3. Daily expenses allowed by 1 bouse ... ... ... 30s. ! Daily expenses actual ... ... 12s. 1 Been to church ... . ... ... 0 |

Accompanied girls from church homo ... ... ... 19 Giris flirted with ... ... 59 Agreed to marry ... ... 12 Expected trouble with ... ... 10 Kicked out of the howy ... 8 Left bv back door ... ... 2 Dodged fare on railway ... 6 Number of persons cheated ... 54 Tri. 1 to Cheat 92 Goody sold for other firms ... £6OO (.< inmi- 'ions from rival firms ... £6O Salary. 30. s ]>er day for 40 days £6O Saved from daily expenses ... £36 Money put in savings ba.n'k ... £125 Cash on hand ... ... ... £3l Got drunk ... ... ... 23 Badly broken ttp ... o Slipp< d out on hotel proprietors ... ... ... 8 Cigari hixkod ... ... ... 200 Cigars given away ... ...« 2 Number of clays' actual work ... 3C Number days charged firm ... 40 Attended horse races ... ... 17 Mado on bets ... ... ... £6O Lost o*n bets ... ... ... £35 My actual profit for 40 days ... £l6l Firm’s actual profit for 40 days £lOO