MAKING IT TO FIT THE TIME TABLE.

Hawke's Bay Tribune, Volume I, Issue 27, 14 January 1911, Page 1 (Supplement)

MAKING IT TO FIT THE TIME TABLE.

In the pages of “Through SavageEurope,” Mr. Harry de Windt gives a curious and amusing experience on a Russian railway some years ago. “AR Russians have a rooted antipathy to fast railway travel, if one may judge ■ from an incident which oc-urred some years ago w|ien I was travelling across the Caucasus from Batoum to Baku. We had reached a tunnel, at the entrance of which the train waited for at least twenty minutes. “There is : something wrong?” I remarked to a fellow passenger. “Oh. no” he replied, “we arc only making up the time. This tunnel was recently made to avoid a long bend round a range of hills, and as it now cut? off several miles a shortdelay is necessary so as.to fir in with the scheduled time.” “But surely v.eshould save time by going on?’ I urged . 'Perhaps so,’ said my.-friend. ‘But then, you see. they would Lave to Mtuall the timetables? ” A dkows STRATAGEM.

“Harper’s Magazine” has a good story of a crow which was captured by the children jn.a Southern family and ’ brought home nnd tamed. They were--very fond of the crow, and treated it with kindness. As in most houses where there are children, there was a pet cat. The cat and crow were not friendly. One day an unusually nice morsel was given to the cat. This the crow looked at with envious eyes and made several attempts to secure. The cat beat off each attempt, however, and the crow had to resort to stratagem. Disappearing through the open door, he returned in a few moments with a long string that had been ravelled from a rag carnet. _ Placing this on the floor some little distance in front of the cat. he proceeded to wriggle it as he had seen the children do when playing with the cat. Tlie cat instantly jumped to catch the string. This was, of course, exactly what the wily crow wanted, an'F he promptly pounced upon th? coveted tit-bit and flew triumphantly away v ith it. ' A JOKE THAT MISSED FIRE. ( T don’t think I’ll try any more practical jukes on my wife. ‘ They d'.n’t answer well.” “Tell me why not?” “Yon--see, she is in the habit of having the window open in our bedroomevery night. As I usually go to bed last, she depends on me to open it Sometimes I forget it, and then there’s a. wild souabble. Frequently she wakes up in the night and asks’me to so? if it is open. If I don’t she bothers me until the next morning. A night or two ago I resolved to give her a hard s"are. I rolled up a' lot of old newspapers and other things into :i long bundle and laid the package down by the window. Of course, she was. asleep "nd didn't hear me. Then I opened the window a little way and crept into bed. Some time after midtight she nudged me and said: ‘James. I n*. s ' , .T® F ,v ’’ didn't open that window it s like an oven in the room. Get up c.nd see.’ So I got up, went to the. window and threw up the sash ns hi di ns it would go. As I did so I gave, a little shriek and then flung mv bundle down to the walk below.' It struck with a dull thud, and I dodged behind the curtains to await developments. J lie room was verv dark and I couldn't see my wife bitt I heard her raise herselr to a sitting posture. Then she spoke: ‘Poor old James.’ sh? quietly ■“aid. ‘h? s tumbled out of the windowin !'is ragged""! night shirt. AYTiat a spectacle he 11 be when thev find him in the morning!' Then she lav dowi. and went to --leen.'’ “AA hnt did you do?” ‘ Stood there shivering 'for a minnt :. or two, and then «neaked into bed.” HER PRE L’.tRATION. She was ;> mo<t nth!i *'c girl, Ste had a level head. But when sue heard the burglar'sstep. She crawled beneath th? bed. Her eln-sr was broad, her shoulders .‘qua ro. But. at the burglar's tread. Ascending Hie old,‘f reaking stall, She crawled beneath the* bed. ’ ‘ n ” -* ear ol " mortal man,” Shed very often said; But ere hostili ies began, She crawled beneath her bed. Twas not through craven terror though, She dived beneath the bod. - But :o fetch a four-pound dumb-bov J-ifc.t ;■> crack the varlet’s head.