EXTRACTS FROM AUCKLAND PUNCH

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume 13, Issue 654, 8 February 1869, Page 2

EXTRACTS FROM AUCKLAND PUNCH

Cross Firing. —A cartridge found on a Hauliau killed at Patutahi was made up of part of a number of the Southern Cross containing portions of a speech delivered by Mr G. Graham of Auckland. This is one way of causing reports and news to fly about. The speech of Mr Graham thus delivered would certainly produce a decided impression—much more so than ever it did before. There is, however, one objection to urge against this method of increasing the circulation of a newspaper, and that is, that it would in mos f eases result in putting a stop to the circulation of the blood. A Mighty Man, —That distinguished individual Mete Kingi, recently, on the occasion of the Governor's visit to Lyttelton, made a remarkable after-dinner speech. He said that his Excellency was not honored in Wanganui, and added: " I was the only one to give him any dinner." Imagine her Majesty's representative, ii» a half-famished state, anxiously waiting for the crumbs from some Wanganui Dives's table; and then picture to yourself the noble savage, M.H.R., inviting him into some palatial cook-shop, seating him at the table, politely apologizing for the absence of stewe&pakeha in the bill affaire, and then munificently orderiug '"pudding to follow," and finally, with that jocular air which sits so well upon him, offering to toss his Excellency " two out of three for the two feeds.' What a subject for a historical paiutiug! Mete Kingi further said: " Friends, 1 have three titles. Ist—Teacher of Religion; 2nd—Native Assessor; 3rd—General; 4th—Maori M.H.R." Perhaps lie will add to these titles that of " Dinner*giver-in-chief by special appointment, &c, &c." He could also take for his arms a Governor -rampant, with Maori couchant offering a dish containing sea-pie, or some other rare and favorite edible,' and the motto, "As the jackal is to the lion, so am I to ithee!"

Cocksfoot Grass.—The following is a letter which appeared in the Canterbury Times, 23rd Jan. : the only green thing to be seen—except caterpillars —in my neighborhood, is a paddock of cocksfoot grass, which, although being fed constantly, is as freuh-looking as though it had been raining every few days. 1 saw that in England, during the dry season last year, this grass stood best of all, and I think we ought to sow it much more extensively than we do on our dry plain Jand. —Your obedient servant, P.C. The approaching anniversary of the birth of Robert Sums is to be celebrated at Tokomairiro by a ball and other festivities, i