Hawke's Bay Herald. THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 1899. AN AUDIT OFFICE JOKE.

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume XXXIV, Issue 11132, 26 January 1899, Page 2

Hawke's Bay Herald. THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 1899. AN AUDIT OFFICE JOKE.

There is an old Joe Mulensin about a Scotch editor who objected to & certain statement as not strictly conBonaut with fact. It was explained to him that it was a joke. He accepted the assurance -with full faith, remarking that he joked himself occasionally, " but wi' deeficulty." But it has been reserved for the New Zealand Audit Office to "go one better," and show thatitcannot only joke with difficulty, but very expensively. And the authors of the departmental jokelet were apparently so proud of their literary offspring that they had it laid before Parliament, and in due course it was printed and issued for the edification of the public at a cost of £3 4s 6d. The humor of the thing lies in the fact that all this correspondence was about the proper cancellation of a penny stamp. An official of the Mines Department at the beginning of last year had to go on a journey by coach. He paid Messrs Craig and Co., the coach proprietors, the proper fare. £2 15s, and they gave him a receipt, but forgot to stamp it in accordance with law. Now for revenue purposes the law requires a penny stamp on a receipt for any sum over £2, and the Audit Department very properly called the official's attention to this and requested him to get a duly stamped receipt. Messrs Craig and Co. politely expressed regret at their omission, and gave a stamped receipt to Mr Perham. the officer in question. But when the document reached Wellington, in tbe fullness of time, some keen-eyed clerk saw that the date on the receipt was that on which the money was paid, not that on which the stamp was cancelled. The aid of the SolicitorGeneral was called in, and a mighty

exposition of the law on the subject laid down. After a lengthy correspondence, with which we will not weary our readers, Mr Perham was directed to get another receipt. But once more the date was wrong, and the whole procedure was gone over again. Now the failure to give a receipt is a penalty of £10, and another bright official suggested that the law should be enforced as a punishment to Messrs Craig and Co., or as an educational measure. Further correspondence ensued on this momentous question, and a J)epartmental joker appeared on the scene. He must surely have been educated in a commercial establishment, far from the Circumlocution Office, for he ventured the daring suggestion that Messrs Craig and Co. having already cancelled two stamps, and so paid precisely 100 per cent more than the law demanded, the matter should be allowed to drop. For this he was severely rebuked, and again all the machinery of government was put in motion. The Audit Department was inexorable, and even went into a chapter of past history to remind the Stamp Department that it had once sinned grievously itself in passing an account against itself without a receipt, and such, terrible laxity was properly condemned. By this time Mr Cadman, the head of the Mines Department, seems to have become tired of reading such lengthy letters, for with a lack of humor which is popularly supposed to be found odJj Dorth of the Tweed he suggested that the proceedings had a tinge of red tape about them, ana were becoming farcical. But this only stirred the various departments, to renewed efforts, and the unlucky Mr Perham was called upon to refund the money he had paid as he could not get a proper receipt. Mr Perham applied to Messiv Craig and Co. for another receipt, but in doing so committed the awful offence of expressing the opinion that "the whole thing was exceedingly vexatious, and a piece of childish redtape." This lack of humor brought down on him further correspondence. In the end the matter was referred to the Cabinet — this, by-the-bye, was the second time — but Dr. Seddon was not present when it came up. Such a momentous matter could not, of course, be decided without him — there would have been a lack of the Gilbertian element which had prevailed all through, so it was referred to him for his decision. With due gravity he gave it. It was to the effect that Messrs Craig and Co. had rendered themselves liable to a penalty of £10 — which the veries juniors among the departmental jokers knew on the express authority of the SolicitorGeneral — but he suggested that as all parties agreed that there had been no intention to avoid the law, a fresh receipt should be made out and duly signed as on the day of cancellation. And seven months after the payment was made this was done, and the departmental joke came to an end. Now we are pre pared to admit that there was a substratum of humor in the affair, which a clever dramatist might make into a passable short farce. But we submit that the colony does not run a comic department, and that the results of such ponderous efforts at importing humor into the Civil service are not commensurate with the expense involved.