SAM JONES.

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7550, 25 September 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

SAM JONES.

SlUltl* AND BITTEU SAYINGS FROM His

Baltimore Discourses,

During his first week in Baltimore I Sam Jones lias preached to very large ou- ( diances, notwithstanding that some days c tho weather was unfavorable. At sevo- i ral of tho meetings in the rink, which c Beat? nbjnt four thousand people, tliere c was not spnee for the nudienct>. His t preaohing has boon the subject of much 1 talk, and diver* opinions have been ex- < pressed. Everybody concedes that the c blows he strikes are very hard and tel- £ ling. He says he means thorn to be. ( He deolares that he knows what sin is, c and means to fight it, no matter what i hydra-headed shape it may assume. ' Candid, outspoken, straightforward c men say such talk is just what Baltimore wants. Some of the most telling shots fired by the evangelist have been iit the form of aphoysms. Among those used during tha week were the following : — " You pack your prenchyrs in an icehouse and abuse them all the yoar beoause they don't sweat." " Many of us are too decent to be religious." ■' I never call namoa, but every follow knowß bis number when I talk." "I know ono church where twenty were praying for the millennium and two hundred were playing for the booby prize in a progressive euchre. Such Chris'iina as that would not ba in heaven six months before thoy would be gambling for each other's crowns." " I am a Methodist till I find something with more get up-and-get about it." " I never became satisfied in Georgia till we put legs on all the barrels and demijohns in Atlanta and moved them away from our boys." " I had rather be a man in tho truest Bonsa of the word than the boat angel in heaven." " The church is the last place In which to bo solemn, provided you have lived right." "If I have lived right I'll wear a stnilo ns broad as heaven ; but if I've been swindling and doing wronp, I'D have ono as broad 89 a graveyard." " I want to bo a good man and a good husband, but God keep me from being a nico proachcr." " God never made two men alike but one was of no account." " I'd rather be a man than a ' dignified ' proacher." ' " I'd rather die on a well-fonght field of battle than ruu away and spoculato or tho spoils of tho war," " A cross is God's will one way and youra auothor." " Some people think they can't be pious unle»B they are everlasting on tho beg." " I pray for my daily bread, but I have to hunt for my corn pone with the sweat running down the hoe handle." " I'd rather go to hell than go to nowhere." " Dignity is nothing but the starch of a shroud," "Every sociuty woman who claims to be a Christian has got to get out of sooietv sometime in her life or go toholl." " I'd rather a (laughter of mine to get a flnake bite than a society bite." "Sooioty is a heartless old wretch, sapping tho spiritual life from thousands of psoplo." "When a man is bragging that bia father is a Colonel, you may put it down that his father is ashamed of him." " Many a man will lie down in hell and say : ' My tongue damned me.' " " You may baptise a man nil over, but his tongue will come out as dry !>b powder.' 1 " Somo of us would get a mu.3B up in h,eaven by talking about qur neighbors." !' I am not singing the ' Sweet By-and-Bye,' but the ' Sweet Now-and-Now. 1 " "Please recognise mo down here. When I am in glory with a palm in my hand, if you don't want to recoguiso me you needn't do it." " I pvay God to give mo a heavon to go to heaven in." "I'll put up with less in heaven if I can get more down here." "Every true man is au eternal millionaire." " Tho greatest gift of God is a game preacher." " If a horse is sound from head to foot lio don't mind tho currycomb, but if thoro are unsound spots on him when you come into tho stable to carry him ho kicks," " Hull is sin intensified, and sin is hell iv nil its respects." "The dovil has no belter servant than a prenchor who is laying feathtr ' beds for fallen Christians to light on." " The dovil is too much of a gmttloman to go where ho is not invited " i '' Fdoliug is moral perspiration." " You can't take another man's money to hoaven with you. fcshroudn have no • pockets." " I'd rather bo a bull pup than a town > bully." 1 " I'd rather be a doad Hun than a ' living dog. 1 ' i '' Igtioranco is as round as a ball and I slick as a button ; it's got no handle to : it, and you can't manage it." > "No man pan be a Qhr'tatian and i drink wbißky.' 1 P ''Nobody but an infernal spoundrc)

will sell whisky, and nobody bul au Infernal fool will drink it." " You get yoursolf tangled up with the idea that Christ is going to be good for you, and you'll get left on Judgment Day." " Righteousness is rightedness, straightednesa." "The secret of a happy life is to do your duty and (rust in God."