"P., PASSENGER."

Hawke's Bay Herald, Volume XXII, Issue 7550, 25 September 1886, Page 2 (Supplement)

"P., PASSENGER."

Mr Peter Crosswise was a fidgotty old man, not particularly old, but just old enough to be called " the bachelor" in Uio circle in which he moved, He was possessed of plenty of money and peculiarities, one of the latter boing a great aversion to being wljat he called " watched." On the other aido of' the road there were two ladies lodging, Mrs and Miss Prynne, who were thought to bo very inquisitive bjr Mr C, and this was only fair, for, being very much of his own turn of mind, they had siiuilurly labelled him. " Mrs Smith," said Mr C. to hia landlady, after bU plans for a visit to the seaside were made, "I think oE going out." " Oh, indeed, sir ! To loa and supper, or home again to supper?" " Oh, for a day or two, or a week perhaps; I cannot tell you when I shall return, to a day, at least." "No, sir, I understand," said the landlady, instantly revolving in her mind a wash of the window curtains and a family party of uptown in Mr M.'s dining-room. Having packed his things, Mr 0. was puzzled about. directions. He first wrote a largo " C " on a oard. but folt sure that anyone by a little enquiry on the platform would find him 'out by that initial. At last ho hit upon a plan that would defeat the most ingeuious curiosity. •' I will put my Christian initial P," he thought, so swiftly nnd triumphantly ho wrote on his several portables - one portmanteau, a carpet bag, and a few wraps -a fine P, with " Passenger" behind it. "Good-bye, Mra Smith," he cried, at tho top of the kitchen stairs. " I'm going; I'll writo— or no —my rooms will be ready anytime I return, you know." " Yes, sir ; certainly, sir ; " said Mrs Smith, ooming up in time to see her lodger rido away, congritulaliug himself that he had left her wholly in ihe dark as to his plans. Over tho way a simiUr scene had boon enacted, for Miss Prynne had heard that many were going to the seaside and had persuaded her mother to go, besidoa having dircctod their nocos'iiry luggage with their surnamo initial, and "Passenger" after it, viz, "P., Passongor." Both Mr 0. and Mrs and Mian Prjnno, then, unknowingly, fixed Drumhead us their destination, When Mr 0. arrived at the station ho was greatly disconcerted to find that he •ould see no portnr, and was obliged to stand by his luggage like a shipwrecked mariner on a rock, afraid to loivo it to find a helping hand, and afraid if he stopped thoro Uio train would go without him. Imploringly ho cried to a porter running by, with a look that stood good for a shilling, " Will yp,u see my luggage in P" >' Oh, yci, Bir, I'll see to yon, sir -all yours, sir?-— what class, sijp" said the

f porter, quite as woll satisfied to do his t duty for a shilling an for nothing. , "First-class," said Mr C. ; " you'll t mind and put it all in," slipping the . shilling into his hand. r "Oh, yes, sir, I'll mind. 'P., Pas- [ senger,' one, two, three- a'l right, sir ; ia the end van at the bottom, sir ; here's , an empty carriage only two ladies in it, ( sir." , Mr C, relieved from anxiety, sank J into tho third seat, but, after one or two ; stations had been passed became aware, ■ as if by instinct, that the two ladies in : the carriage were known to him ; and, , although ho could but' see the head- , dress and chignou of the elder lady, he felt sure that behind the shignon was the face of the elder watcher "over the way." He was miserable from that time, and occupied the journey in planning an escape from the inquisitors. He was sure that they had not seen him, and, therefore, being incognito, he took his measures resolutely, and acted on them. With his face to the platform he got out the moment the train stopped, and took himself off to the refreshment bar, whore he stayed till the coast was clear. "Anybody here named Popinger?" said a porter at the door. Everyone together with Mr 0. said " No," so tho man went away. Having outwitted tho ladioi so far, Mr 0. resolved to go to another part of tho coast, but as tho train for that part did not start for an hour and a half, ho looked for his luggage. After a long search ho found to his astonishment that it was gone, and after pnquiry was asked how it was directed. This question being answered, there was a conference of. porters, and ono said, "There- was a cab went off with a lot of luggage directed 'P., Passenger.'" Mr 0. then' particularised his gooda, and described his hat box, which was a heavy old-fashioned one, trimmed with brass nails. The porter believed that such a box had gone off on tho aforesaid cab up into the town, together with the other articles, but, to the reliof of all, the cab came back, and tho porter recognising the driver, asked .him where he had left the luggage. Tho address being readily given, Mr 0. found he would oither have to go for his things or lose them, so he jumped into tho cab and followed them. Whilo ho is doing so' let us follow Mrs P. and her daughter, who, in spito of hit efforts at concealment, had recognised Mr Crosswise in the train, and directly it stopped made all hasto into the town, procured lodgings, and ordered i their luggage, directed " P. Passengor," to be sent after them. They then con- I gratulated themselves on their dexterity in having kept out of tho way of " that ' t inquisitive old follow," as the inquisitive , old fellow himself had done when ho . smuggled his traps into tho fly without j tho knowledge of Mrs Smith. "Hero's the luggage, mamma; let's have it up at once," said Miss Prynne ; J " but what a quantity ! There's somo- , one else's as well, surely." The servant, not having orders to j select, carried up the luggage, assuring herself that the ladies had come to finish , the year there. j " Dear, ma !" cried Miss Prynne, , going to the door, "they're brought a | hat-box directed like ours ; and here's a , portmanteau, and hero's " and she went on, getting more perplexed at i every addition to their proper stock. ( Of course, they wore going to send it , back, but could find no porter to take it, and Miss Prynno dared not look for ] ono for fear of meeting " that tiresome ( old man" ; besides, the owner would ba sure to come for it, so they went to , dinner. Many carriages had stopped at the door, so thby were not surprised ■ to hear one stop, there when they began their tatt, but were very muoh surprised . when the door was opened nnd Mr Croßswiso shown in, though not more . surprised than ho was. , "Keally, sir," Miss Prynne began. " Really, ma'am," Mr Crosswise echoed, and then they stoppod. When ho had ' recovored his breath ho domandetl his luggage, which was given to him by the ladies, who remarked that if they could have forsc-jn what would happen they would not have directed as they did, and ho vociferously deolared the samo. " I believe," said Mrs P., nervously, " tho moro one tries to bo retirod and unobserved, the more ono is watohed and followed." Mr 0., instead of being offended at having tho tables turned on him, felt a sympathy with her. " I hate being watohed, and I never watch any one, ma'am," ho said in accents which testified to their truth. While the things wero being put into the cab, Mr C, thoroughly mollified, explained his , motive for having used " P, Passenger," : and heard tho samo story in return. \ Ho was amused,, took up his quarters at Drumhead, and although not often meoting the two ladies, when he did he gave thorn a stiff bow, receiving an equally stiff ono in return, Everybody, from Mrs Smith to the moat remote observer, noticed the great improvement In the '• bachelor" on his return, moat of his peculiarities diminishing, and after sis months spent in visiting tho " houso over the way," was married to Miss Pryune, much to tho surprise of all, " No more ' P. Passenger,' how, but a full direction," he said when they were sotting off on their wodding trip. " I'vo done with ' under the rose' ; it always gives more trouble in tho ond and seldom answers the purpose." — Abridged from the Leisure Hour, 1871.