HOTCH – POTCH

Hawera Star, Volume XLVII, 21 January 1928, Page 16

HOTCH - POTCH

“What would you do if J. kissed you?’.’ “1 would call mamma.” “Your mother is in the next room J suppose?”' “No, she is away.” We heard of the sad case of a Scotchman who was engaged to a girl who became so fat that lie wanted to break oil the engagement;. But the girl couldn’t get tlie ring off so he had to marry her. An actress who was passing a fishmonger's shop looked at the serried rows of fish, which seemed to stare at Per with their glassy eyes. “Good Heavens,” she murmured hastily, “that reminds me i’.ve got a matinee to-day.” The other night at a concert in a small country town one of the performers ’was. the local butcher, who was sing a comic song in costume 1 . He had finished one verse when a man from the nearby fire station entered the hall and approached the stage. The singer pauseq, and regarded him in astonishment. “What’s the matter?” he asked, while the audience waited interestedly. “I’m awfully sorry, Bill,” said the newcomer, apologetically’, “but there’s a fire down the road, and you’ll have to gimme them boots” It was raining heavily, and patiently had the girl waited for a ’bus. At last one drew up beside her. “Have you sittings room inside ?” she enquired timidly, of the conductor. “No, madam,” lie replied, courteously “but we’ve a bathroom on top.” Boss: “What are you two darkies doing walking so slowly up those stairs?” Midnite: “We is wo’kin, boss. We is carryin’ dis heah desk up de stairs.” Boss: “I don’t see any desk.” Midnite: “For de Lawd’s sake, Car bona, we done forget de desk!”

“ I notice that your clerks are l all in a- fine humour; have you been raising their wages or something?” “Not so you could notice it,” answered the big business man. “To be frank, it’s just-' because my wife has been in, and it tickles them to death to see someone boss me around.”

i The Boy Scout- organisation is so popular, and the vqlun-tary leaders admired, that it seems a. shame to tell a. story against one of them. However, there is a stout Scoutmaster who, although he can now add no cubit to , his stature, seems to add an inch or | two per week to his circumference. At | a rally recently an American lady on- ' looker observed to her escort, on noiticing tlie fat one, “Say, George, the .Boss looks as if he’d been poured inta his clothes.” „ “Yep,” said George, ! “and forgot to say ‘When.’ ” 1 The travelling theatrical company arrived' at a small, town in the Midlads celebrated for its snobbery. During the evening performance the actor who played the part of the Duke aroused much amusement by saving, to lu’s beautiful daughter, “Let us now go into the ’ouse.” Tlie stalls tittered. and someone observed in an audible voice, “He said ’house.” The Duke advanced to the footlights and fixed , the interrupter with a baleful; eye. “Yes, I did say ‘ Louse.’ Do you fink a Jook would live in lodgin’®?”