HOTCH-POTCH

Hawera Star, Volume XLVI, 1 May 1926, Page 16

HOTCH-POTCH

Mather: “(Did. you wash yourself this morning?” Sammy : ‘ ‘Yes, ma 1” Mother: “Then why didn’t you take the threepence that was under the doap ? ’ ’

Children,” said the teacher, "can any at you tell me what is the, most dangerous pant at a motor-car? Uip went a hand, and Tommy (who walks to sotyjol) responded shrilly : “Yesj miss, .1 can; the driver I ’

Said Mrs. Brown: “I hear the vicar thinks your daughter has a real genius for reciting, Mrs. Stmith.” “Yes, indeed!” replied the gratified mother. “All she wants, he says to me, is a course oi electrocution, just to finish ’er off, like.”

Uncle: “You are very late home I'mm, school, Tommy. Think how worried your mother will be.” Tommy: “That’s all very well; she’s near the end of her worry, and mine s about to begin.”

Boy: “Please, will you give me some suit patterns tor father?” Tailor: “Certainly; what kind does your father prefer?” Bioy : “He is not particular as to the pattern, as long as they are'strong enough to hold up our grtaipe vine. ’

“I knew an artist once who painted a cobweb on the ceiling so realistically that the maid spent hours trying to sweep it down.” “Sorry, dear I just don’t.believe it-.” “Winy not? Artists have been known to do such things.” “Yes, but not maids. ”*•

“As you don’t seem to know whai you'd like for Christmas, Freddie,”

said his mother, “here’s a printed list of presents for a good little boy.’ Freddie read over the list, and “Miother, haven’t you a list for a had little bov?” he said.

iS’dhoolmaster: “In some countries men are allowed more than one wife. That is polygamy. In Christian countries like ours he is only allowed one. What is that- called?” Scholar : “Monotony.”

Ma: “Bertie, every time you are naughty 1 get another grey hair. ’ Bertie: “My word! You must have been a terror.' Look at grandpa!”

“I’m going to get a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me for ,six months.” “Better be careful. You’ never get another wife like that.”

“Everybody knows about it. Some people take her part and some take her husband’s pant.” “And ! presume there are few eccentric individuals who mind their own business.”