HOTCH-POTCH

Hawera Star, Volume XLV, 22 August 1925, Page 18

HOTCH-POTCH

Our idea of a lucky man is one whose ‘ wife gets so interested -in working the cross-word puzzles in the newspapers * that she forgets to look at the ijargs.in > sales’ advertised. 1 Jim: “Where did you get all the r money?” Jack: “J borrowed it from I’Toin.” Jim: “From Tom! Why 1 J thought lie was pretty tight.” Jack: j “He was.” I “I suppose,” queried the finicky city j boarder, “that you hatch all these | chickens yourself?” “Nope,” replied I Farmer Henfie d, ‘‘we keep hens to look after them details.” “Where have you been until this hour?” “To- the lecture, dear.” “But '( people don’t lecture until 2 o’clock In 'I the morning!” ‘‘This one did, dear—the stuttered very badly.”

| Dolly: “Why I wouldn’t marry you jif vou were the last man on earth.” | Eddy: “1 quite believe you. The last P mail on earth will have 100 many other r troub’es without thinking about getting married.”

“Whatever are you doing on the top of that tree. Mike? Don’t vou see that it’s being cut down?” “Yes, your honour; the last .toime ye had a tie 9 cut down it fell on top of me. and be. gerrah, Oi’ll be safe this time.”

One day a teacher was. explaining-to her first reader class about wool. ‘‘Lilv.” she asked of on? pupi', “what is vour dress made of? Wool, isn’t it?” “No. it isn’t,” replied Lily; “it was made- out of my sister’s o.'d bicycle skirt.”

Burnside: “1 make it a rule to tell my wife every tiling that happens.” Crowfoot: “That’s nothing. I tell my wife lots of things that never happen.”

The hotel lift hoy was criticising the behaviour of children who were in the hotel. “What do you know about it?” asked one of their" mothers angrily. “Are you married?” “No,” replied the lift hoy, “but I’ve brought i.-p a good many families in my time.”

Householder (to pedlar): “Get away out of here now, or J’ll whistle for my dog.” Pedlar: “All right, sir, but first allow me to sell you a whistle.”

Very Stout Woman (mounted, to riding instructor') : “Do you thick it is possible to reduce weight by • this kind of exercise?” “Oh yes, madam, this is only your second lesson and your horse is thinner already!”

Henry: “Smith used to be a great sportsman. Is he reconciled to married life?” George: “I think so. I oal’ed on him recently, and found him sifting ashes through an old tennis racket.”

A man walked into a grocer’s shop and handed to the grocer a paper containing a white powder. ‘I say,” he asked, “what do you think that is? Just taste it and tell me tour opinion.” The grocer smelt it and then touched it with his tongue. “Well, I should say that it was soda.” ‘That’s just what I say,” was the triumphant replw “But my wife said it was rat poison. You might try it again to make sure.”