HOTCH-POTCH

Hawera Star, Volume XLV, 30 May 1925, Page 12

HOTCH-POTCH

“Is there a word in the English language that contains _ all the vowels?” “Unquestionably. ’ “What is it?” “I’ve just told you.”

“Erie, dear! W T hy these heart-break-ing tears?” “N-Sfanny says I’ve a skeleton inside me —an’ 1 can’t see it!”

Caller: “And are your papa, and mamma going to take you with them to London?” Tommy: “Yes.” Caller: “And aren’t you afraid?” Tommy: “No. I ain’t, frightened o’ nothin’, I’ve been vaccinated.”

Tattered Timothy: “I've been trampin’ four years, ma’am, an it s all ’cause I heard that the doctors recommended walkin’ as the best, exercise.” Mrs. Prim: “Well, the doctors are right. W r alk along.

“Yes,” said the teacher, “We have several plants and flowers named with the preflx ‘dog.’ Of course, the dogrose and the dog-violet are welj known to you all. Can any of you tell me of others.” A bright idea illuminated the face of an urchin, and up went liis hand. “Collie-flowers, miss!” he cried.

An owner’s recentlv engaged jockey was the subject of ‘ conversation ; between the owner and a friend. “Do vou think,” asked the latter, “that Blank has improved his riding since he entered your service?” “On the contrary,” was the reply, “I would say he has fallen off quite a loft.”

Mistress of the House: “I am a woman of' few words. If I beckon with my hand, that means ‘Come.’ ” The New Servant: “That suits me, mum! I’m also a woman of fow words. Ii I shake my head it means ‘l’m not coming.”

“Did you enjoy the amateur dramatic show last night?” “Well, I thought it was too realistic. “Reallv ?” “Yes, it said on the programme, ‘One hour is supposed to elapse between the first and second acts,’ and it actually did.”

Two Scotsmen, who, though the best of friends held different political opinions, were discussing the doings of their local M.P. Said one:— ‘ ‘Weel, he 1 sent us some fine birds last year ” “Man,” renlied the other who was no friend of the sitting member, “that was bribery.” “But,” said the first speaker, “we could na. eat them the pair we had were sae high we just threw them awa’.” “Worse still!” qoiith his friend, “that was bribery and corruption!”

Young "Wife (nervously) : “Oh, cook, 1. really must speak to you. The master is always complaining about the dinner. On Monday it was the soup, yesterday it was the joint, and to-dav it was the fish.” Cook: “Well, ma’am, I’m sorry for you. It must be awful for you to have a husband like that!”

Mother—“So father dropped a hammer on his toe. But you should not cry at things like that. Just laugh!” Small Boy—“Boo-hoo! That’s what I did!”

W T hen we use the same word to mean two different things—-and the English language often economises in that way —we risk causing a misunderstanding of the kind that annoyed a lady that the Minneapolis Tribune tells about. She approached the post office window belligerently. “I’ve been expecting a package containing medicine for a. week and haven’t it yet!” “Yes, madam,” replied the post office clerk. “Kindly fifl in this form and state the nature of your complaint.” “Well it’s no business of yours,” the woman snapped, “but if you really must know, it’s rheumatism. I have it very bad across my shoulders.”