HOTCH-POTCH

Hawera Star, Volume XLVIII, 28 March 1925, Page 10

HOTCH-POTCH

Professor Brown: “What’s that i Spell my name?. Certainly. B/for Brontosaurus; R for Rhizophoraceae; O for Opisthothelae; W for "Wiling-; baeya, and N for Nucifraga. Wife: “I never won a prize, in all my Life except when I got married and that turned out to be a 'booby.” Husband (cryptically): “That’s more than I can say.” Grey: “Having your cai repainted to match your wife's gown, eh? Isn’t it rather expensive?” ' . She: “How is it that widows ally manage to marry again?” ■' He: “Because dead tnen tell ho tales.” x • She: “Why do blushes creep over \irls’ faces?”, ; ■ He: “Because if they tan they would kick up too much dust!” She: “I was a fool when I marled vou.” ... , _ He: “Yes; and that disproves the idea that happiness comes from people marrying their opposites.” “Now Doris,” said hej- teacher, “can you tell me what a myth is ?’ “ieth, ma’am,’.’ lisped Doris. “It ith a woman who hath, hot got a huthband.” Father: “I just kicked that, youtig man who has been calling. here into the middle of next week.” . . Daughter: “Oh, how careless,.of you, father! We had arranged to be married on Monday.” Patrick, aged three months, sat on his father’s knee yelling lustily, while on the other knee sat- his twin brother testing the elasticity of his parent’s moustache. ... An elder brother hung on .the. chair hack, while a fourth was indulging in the childish amusement of endeavouring to cut small pieces off the cat’s tail. Wife (looking’up from a hook of interesting .facts): “They do , say, Barney, that a child is,born every time the clock ticks.” “Thin had luck to the hay then that invented clocks,” said Barney. The pile of flints still to be broken was a very large one. A minister came along and gave the stonebreaker a cheery “Good morning,” remarking afterwards that, he had a deal of work to get through yet. “Aye,” said the stonebreaker, “them stones are like the Ten Commandments.” “Why so?” “You can go on breaking ’em, hut you can’t never get rid of ?em.” Mail (with a broken nose) : “Can you direct me to the public library ?” Stranger:. “Yes. Take the first turn to the left, 'then., follow, yqiir .nose.” “You mean keep straight on?'” “No; turn to the right.”