THAT DOUBLE QUARTETTE.

Hastings Standard, Issue 331, 26 May 1897, Page 3

THAT DOUBLE QUARTETTE.

[To The Editor.] Sir, —There are some people in the world who always try to throw cold water on other people's efforts, but they don't do anything themselves. I see this is so about the Diamond Jubilee ball. While a lot is being done to have one good celebration here by some of Queen Victoria's loyal subjects, other folks, by picking holes in the management, are trying to throw ridicule on it. I don't think they will succeed. An ex-ent like such a wonderful reign as Queen Victoria's is unique in the history of the world, and we ought all to try aDd make the Hastings celebration a great success; and we will, despite the silly letters written by a " Puzzled Schoolboy." He should go to the ball in his chosen character, not forgetting the dunce's cap.—Yours, &c, Tom Tucker. [To the Editor.] Sib, —In my former letter I very much doubted if a schoolboy wrote the letter which appeared in your issue of the 21st inst which was full of misstatements ; after reading his attempt to justify these I am fully convinced that not a schoolboy in New Zealand could display such an amount of ignorance. I am glad he admires me for signing my name and am sorry that I cannot return him the compliment. After wasting a whole column of your valuable space with his disjointed verbiage the only point which he has satisfactorily settled is that I am the patentee of a spraying machine. This is a very useful article in its place, and I think it might be advantageously used upon the " Puzzled Schoolboy's " cranium to remove the scale or fungus which must have accumulated in large quantities to the detriment of his mental capacity. He might also have given me the credit of inventing a starting machine. This could also be usefully applied to the necessities of the "Puzzled Schoolboy," as he might, by \U aid, be enabled to get a fair start on the road to a little elementary knowledge as to differences of time from Greenwich, east and west. To bring matters to a practical issue I challenge the " Puzzled Schoolboy" to deposit £5 with you, Mr Editor; I will do the same. Should my assertion as to the correctness of the time, within a few seconds, as given by me prove to be a mistake I will willingly hand my £ 5 to the "Widows' and Orphans' Relief Fund provided that "Puzzled Schoolboy" •will do the same if he is incorrect. If still ashamed to disclose his personaHt« I ynH meet bim on a public platto have the privilege of wearing a mask and domino or to otherwise disguise himself ; but if this course does not suit him I will meet him privately and give my word of honor not to divulge his name, when I will prove to him he is wrong unless his skull is of adamite.—l am, &c, G. Ellis.